1. Him praying to ward off the powers of Xenu when we say grace.

2. Either of my parents taking out their teeth. Because they both still have theirs.

3. Dad bringing a gun along with him to clean, since we’re going to be eating at Red Lobster I think it’s unlikely. I could be wrong though.

4. Anyone breaking into song. This usually only happens at Olive Garden when Grannie is there. “Wheeeeeeen the moon hits your eye…”

5. Dad ordering gizzards.

6. My parents revealing the existence of “Blanket” to Kevin…because he already knows.

7. Mom giggling like a schoolgirl. Wrong. I totally have to worry about that.

8. Dad calling Kevin a yankee. Wrong again.

9. Paw Paw showing up. Not that it would be a problem, but it’s better to break a person in with my parents first.

10. Either of my parents asking me if I’m going to break up with Kevin anytime soon. They wouldn’t say that in front of him, in fact, Mom would never say it. But Dad and Grannie ask me that every time they talk to me. Paw Paw hasn’t acknowledged the existence of any other man in my life. At least not to me.

11. My brothers beating him up. Because they won’t be there.

12. Dad doing something weird with his finger that’s missing the end. I don’t think he’ll stick it up to his nose or anything, though he likes to do that.

13. My parents not liking him. And that’s a wonderful feeling.

1. Crazy dogs - Okay, this may be calling it too soon, but you meet Lulu and THEN you tell me.

2. Mormons

3. Waiting for Godot - I hate this play. Really. It has been assigned in at least four of my English courses and my group is presenting over it in my capstone course this semester.

4. People with stalkerish tendencies

5. Calvinists

6. This is out there and I’m sure any girl that has ever been in a Yahoo chat room has experienced it as well. I used to advertise GodlyGals a bit there in the Christian chat rooms, but quit due to little interest. AND due to the fact that there were always guys wanting to know if you were single, then if you were interested in getting married, and maybe helping them with their English. In my experience they were mostly from Nigeria and India. So yeah, those guys.

7. Gastrointestinal issues - Yeah, you wanted to know that one

8. Bouquets (at weddings)

9. That person in class that is only there to annoy the professor with stupid questions. Yes, there are stupid questions and they usually apply to due dates whenever they’re listed in the syllabus that you’re holding IN YOUR HAND.

10. Snow - When I pray for snow, I get snow. All you people in Oklahoma should be glad that I don’t pray for it often.

11. At least one professor per semester that thinks you’re only taking his or her class and nothing else.

12. Ear aches - I’ve been prone to them since I was a baby.

13. Chocolate covered Edy’s Strawberry Fruit Bars - Wait. Maybe they can’t escape me.

1. I have the same middle name as my mom.

2. I own two guinea pigs.

3. My dog’s full name is Lulabelle.

4. I have an older brother.

5. My dog is 1/4 German Shepard.

6. I went on my first date in 2006.

7. I have a boyfriend.

8. My best bud just got engaged.

9. I ice skate on a regular basis.

10. Summer is my favorite season.

11. I never knew my maternal grandfather.

12. I am the youngest grandchild in my family.

13. My mom is a great-great-aunt already.