Thirteen Keys to My Heart

1. Delilah - Sick, sad, and true. I have listened to her show regularly since the fall of 1996. Dude.
I was 12! A call to the self-proclaimed “Queen of Sappy Love Songs” would definitely put a person
in my good graces.
2. Folklore roses - I adore orange/coral roses in many shapes and forms, but so far, this is my
favorite. Forget red roses. I’d pick these puppies over the most perfect red any day.
3. Seafood - Oh boy. I love it so much and haven’t found any creature who calls the sea its home
that I don’t find tasty. Mm-mm.
4. Old films - Many of my favorites came out when my Granny was my age. They’re the best. A
few that I really enjoy watching are Splendor in the Grass, Two for the Road, and Picnic.
5. Fairs - You know, of the county, state, whatever variety. I love them! It’s the nighttime atmos-
phere with all the lights, spilled bags of popcorn, discarded turkey legs, scary carnies, spinny rides
that make you throw up your fried Twinky…man. I love it.
6. Christmas lights - I. Love. Them. Oh my goodness. For the past few years I’ve always gone to
view them in Chickasha, Oklahoma and those are SO great. And this year I’ll get to go with Kevin!
7. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey - I don’t know what it is about this song,
but it’s good any time of year for me. Whenever I hear it on the radio I become instantly happier.
8. Sephora - Sorry. Just had to throw that in there. On our (what was it?) 4th or 5th date Kevin
even went into one with me. See, he’s a keeper.
9. Chocolate & cherries - Good gracious. This is one deadly combo for me. I love cherries and
cherry flavored things, so add the chocolate (the darker, the better!) and you’ve got me. Black
Forest cake is a wonderful thing.
10. Children’s books - They are sweet and remind me of simpler times. While I don’t consider
Anne of Green Gables strictly a children’s book, any girl around the age of 11 should definitely
start reading the series. It (HONESTLY) changed my life.
11. COFFEE - Were caps necessary? YOU BET YOUR BRITCHES THEY WERE. I’ll take this stuff in
any form. IV drip is the preferred method.
12. Cream cheese & fake cheese - I couldn’t include one without the other. With the first you
have something that I consider to be a marketable alternative to your average candy bar (You
know, it comes in sticks and I could never understand why my mom wouldn’t let me eat it that
way. It’s possible that she was concerned about my saturated fat intake.) and the base of a very
special icing used on red velvet cake. Can’t go wrong there. The second is your key ingredient in
the very best ball game foods. Yum.
13. Kit Kat - The king of all candy bars. I cannot put into words what this fine piece of chocolate
means/does to me, so I’ll steal a line from Gilmore Girls (formerly a key to my heart until it was
CANCELLED), “The only way I could love you more is if you had a Kit Kat bar growing out of the
side of your head.” And my dears, that couldn’t be more true.
Sadly (for any interested parties) my heart is taken now. I have The Best Boyfriend in the World.
How could he not be? The guy covered numbers 3, 10, and 11 on the first date.

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