So, I’m low-carbing, right? It’s changed my life. Complete 180. I couldn’t have imagined how much better I would feel, the energy I would have (Though, I could definitely handle requiring more sleep than I currently feel like I need. The energy I have between 10pm and 2am alone may be enough to raise Dr. Atkins from the dead. Will look into this.), and how good bacon can taste. Turkey bacon. I’m still not sold on the real stuff. But man, it’s not bad living. Steak, seafood, baloney (I HAVE VERY WEIRD TASTE. Or none.), and HEAVY CREAM. Oh, heavy cream, my love. I’m really starting to wonder if clouds are perhaps angel poop, which is, in reality, whipped heavy cream.* I don’t believe in the space program, so do you think we could get someone at NASA on that one? Maybe the lady with the adult diapers? Let me know what you think.

I’ve been trying out lower carb options that various companies have to offer. It’s worth noting that some of them are really bad for you and not actually that good for a low-carb diet. There is this website I’ve found where I bought some low-carb ketchup (which I later found out is available at Wal-Mart for half the price — way to go, Liz), milled flax seed, and high protein low-carb chocolate pudding. Had no idea how the stuff would taste, but at the time that I bought this I hadn’t had good tasting chocolate in a while. And it turns out I really like chocolate, who knew. So I buy it, kinda forget about it, and then it comes in the mail yesterday. I was looking around at the website that I bought it from and realized that it was recommended for people who have undergone gastric bypass surgery. And it’s listed in the “Gastric Bypass Foods” section of their website. That is fine and dandy, because I know that there is a need for foods that are appropriate for that diet (no idea what your body goes through after that), I am just not sure if I can stomach what my mind now knows as “gastric bypass pudding.” It reminds of “Katrina punch” if you know what I mean.

*Sorry, after reading that a second time I realized how nasty it was. But I’m leaving it there. Because I keep it real. Umm, yeah.