1. We’re uneducated. As for myself and the person sitting next to me, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

2. We will connect you to the CEO, president, or some other person that has no desire to speak with you. We can, but you have got to be kidding.

3. We have all the answers at our fingertips. Most, but not all.

4. We have no other calls coming in and we can keep you on hold as long as you want to be there. Wrong again, bucko. Especially when there is only one receptionist here. Please just leave a message. PLEASE.

5. We can make the person you called for 5 minutes ago, who we told you had just stepped out to lunch and would be back in an hour, appear magically out of a snag in our No nonsense® knee highs. And then a second time out of our tightly wound bun when you call again 10 minutes later.

6. We are too lazy to transfer your call. I really need to file my nails now, you should call again later.

7. We are lying when we tell you that someone is in a meeting. And again when they are still in that meeting. It’s not like they are working or anything.

8. We are bimbos. See #1.

9. We were hired to be the eye-candy. I don’t know, this may be true.

10. We enjoy it when you ogle us from the other side of the front desk. Obviously, because we’re uneducated bimbos and eye-candy.

11. We are nosy. All the questions we’re asking you are just so that we can know everything about you. It’s not so we can do our jobs or anything like that.

12. We can control whether or not the person you want to speak with actually picks up the phone. Listen to me — if they don’t pick up the phone, they have let you go to voice mail. They do not want to talk to you right now. Please leave a message and they will get back to you as soon as…oh forget it. Whenever the boss walks by and they need to look busy.

13. We can totally give you the president’s cell phone number. What planet are you from? Oh, you’re a personal friend? Right, that’s why you hang up whenever we tell you we have no access to that number (that’s sitting right in front of us, but come on, we’d like to keep our jobs).

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged!