While they may not have been committed to it, my parents did acquiesce to my desires to step outside of our small town and experience the culture that the nearest metro areas had to offer. This “culture” was made up primarily of national tours of Broadway musicals, so my early life was informed by a slightly different worldview than the one I hold as a mature, well-grounded adult (I still believe people should live their lives like a musical–interpret that however you please). I saw my share of stage productions; musicals, the occasional play, and of course an opera or two. Oh yes, I loved the opera from a young age. Had no idea what was going on, but I remember sitting in the dark back bedroom of my great-grandmother’s house, watching Così fan tutte on PBS and trying to keep up with the subtitles.

But this, this they never exposed me to. I’m not even sure that it was around when I was a child, but I’m warning you–if you think that rap or rock music is poisoning the minds of today’s youth, think again. This is the evil that we are fighting, the enemy at the gate. I present to you…Russian rap/opera.

A quick overview for people who would like to know what they are getting themselves into: a pirate ship, a blond, male opera singer (Nicholai Baskov), a few scantily-clad women, swords, and a Russian rapper dressed as satan with an army of red-robed men marching past him. Oh my.