Without divulging too much, allow me to tell you something. I answer a lot of phone calls on a daily basis. I hear a lot of accents and get to interact with a number of lovely people. But I get some older folks from time to time who either 1) can’t hear, 2) don’t know what they want/need, 3) think my name is Alyssa, or 4) all of the above. Keeps me on my toes and provides comic relief, so I’m not complaining. Last night though, I got a very unique call. I’ll let you hear what the fellow said, but I should really do an audio post. Because if you haven’t heard someone from southern Oklahoma say the word “battery,” well, you’re missing out on something very special.
MAN: Yeah, Lizbuth, I need you to answer me a question!
ME: All right, sir. I’ll do my best.
MAN: You got yerself any uh them cables thar?
ME: Well, let me see if I can find someone here to assist you with that.
MAN: Naw!
ME: Sir?
MAN: I don’ need no help, just need fer you to tell me if you got any uh them cables!
ME: I am not sure, sir. Let me ask someone for you.
MAN: ALL’S I WANT TO KNOW’S IF YOU GOT ANY BATT-REE CABLES! For my pickup truck!
ME: Oh, no, I’m sorry. We don’t.
MAN: Well, now…all right.
*click*
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Oklahoma girl through-and-through. Writer, aspiring domestic goddess and totalitarian dictator. Taking on the world one carb-induced coma at a time. Founder of GodlyGals, a ministry for women established in 2002. Co-host of Picture Shows & Petticoats. 
