The High Road

Yesterday was a trying day for me. My work isn’t difficult and there wasn’t anything really going on there, other than me goofing on something and kicking myself over it after it happened. Did what I could to rectify it, but anyway. The only reason I mention it is to let you know that the evening was off to a rotten start.

I had a run in with someone that is not my favorite person early in the evening before I went to Wal-mart. This person was attempting to shirk responsibility and make one of their mistakes (an ongoing problem) look like it was my fault or at the very least something that I could have prevented. If the person hadn’t been so condescending about it I might have been able to stomach the whole thing better. When I am doing something incorrectly, I want to know. Who in their right mind would choose to continue screwing up something for another person? Not this girl.

By the time I got to Wal-mart my mood was foul. My parking spot was close enough and considering that it was already around 18º that was a blessing. As soon as I walked in the door there was a man emptying his basket of all the bags it held. He slung his arms through the handles and gestured for me to take the cart. I smiled and thanked him and pressed my way through the large crowd of people, twenty individuals in groups no bigger than two each, who had insisted on loitering at the front of the store. People who don’t pay attention to the space they are occupying really annoy me. I know why. It’s because I have a couple of family members who do the same thing and I grew up pulling them out of the way of oncoming shopping traffic. Are they rude people? Well, at heart, I don’t think so. Just oblivious to the other people around them.

Shopping was a much more pleasant affair than usual. In spite of what the crowd at the front might have led me to assume about the number roaming the rest of the store, the population at Wal-mart last night was lower than that of my closest Wal-mart (closest to my hometown) five years ago. And that was one of the few remaining “tiny” stores back then. You know. Pre-grocery side and all that.

I was finished with my grocery buying (plus 3 boxes of light bulbs) and all the was left was to find the shortest line with the most enthusiastic looking cashier. Most of the time I am a pro at this. Last night, I was not. I found a line that was shorter than the rest, where the customer already had all her items out of the cart and on the conveyor belt. Now I only had to wait on the belt to move a little so that I could place the divider between the other lady’s goods and my own and start emptying my basket.

So I waited. For five minutes. Before the cashier moved the conveyor belt. She insisted on reaching as far as she could to get every item. She was chatty and I think she may have known the customer in front of me because I can’t imagine having that sort of conversation with a total stranger. But then, I’ve never been a cashier so I’m not sure.

She finished with that customer and my goods had now reached their connecting flight that would take them home. And she waited. I glanced at her. She smiled. I said, “Hello.” She said, “Good evening!” Then she turned to her huge box of Juicy Fruit to pull out a piece. I waited another five minutes before she started scanning my items without a word out of her. She did everything under the sun behind her cash register. I finally realized that she wasn’t going to start scanning my items until I had everything out of my cart. She asked me if I was done and I told her that they wouldn’t all fit on the conveyor belt. She then nodded and finally started loading things up. I continued to empty the basket and order everything with Monk-like precision (grocery shopping is one of the few times that the public is exposed to what I believe to be a very mild case of OCD).

I was ready to hiss and snarl at this lady, Twilight-newborn-vampire-style, and really let loose. I haven’t always been this way, but that incident I had with Mathis Brothers Furniture has really changed the way I approach receiving poor service at a place of business. And probably not for the better, in all honesty. It’s just that in my work, I know how you have to treat a customer. You do whatever it takes to make them feel comfortable and confident about doing business with you. And this? This was not what I was hoping to experience at Wal-mart last night, though I cannot say that I expected much more.

That is when it hit me. This woman is me. We both deal with customers all day long. And I’d wager that she has roughly 5x the customers that I do and that most of them have nastier dispositions. I know how it makes me feel whenever someone treats me like I’m lower, like I am uneducated or ignorant because of the position I hold. It’s not pleasant, it makes me mad, and makes me feel so little and like I want to cry. Maybe I am a wimp, but I know that nobody wants to be treated that way. I also know that I do what I do to get by. Not because it’s my passion or some ultimate goal, but because I have to live. While this woman was old enough to be my grandmother I think the same could be said for her. Without a doubt, she gets treated worse by her customers (and employer) on a day-to-day basis than I could ever imagine. We’re past the season where she and her coworkers are overworked and treated like automatons, where the customers just want in and out fast. During holiday season I try to go out of my way to make cashiers feel appreciated, but the rest of the year? Honestly? Their poor service is fair game to me.

I am not like this all the time. I know that the feelings I had and the way I wanted to lash out verbally was inappropriate and probably the worst witness for Christ I could be. But that feeling that raged up in me last night was one that any of us are capable of. With how bad my day had been, it made my normally patient personality very, very nasty and I tried to excuse what was about to be my behavior simply with the thought that My day has been terrible and I have a right to feel this way.

Then something in me said, Hers has been worse. There was nothing in me that wanted to think that in the moment. But something greater than me did.

I stopped. My groceries were all loaded and working their way down the belt. As I made my way to swipe my card and type in my PIN, I looked up at the lady and smiled. “How are you doing today?” I asked.

Related posts:

1. Notice
2. Thursday Thirteen #40
3. More Than A Feeling