1. After the wedding people will start asking you if you’re pregnant. If you have family members that have been harassing you since you were 7, asking, “When’re you going to get married?” rest assured, they won’t be without ammo now that you are married. Nope. Now all you’ll get is the pregnancy question. Don’t you dare think you can suggest that you have “good news” or a “surprise” for any family members. That’s the first conclusion they’re going to jump to.
2. Suddenly, people will start treating you like an adult. It’s so weird. You may already be 30, employed, and well situated in life when you get married, but there’s something about having a ring on your finger that really convinces everyone that you’re settled firmly in Adultdom.
3. Paradoxically, others will assume you are still a child. And that you want their unsolicited advice.
4. The question, “How’s married life?” means different things to different people. You will need to become a skilled reader of body language and facial expressions. For instance, if the person asking is a sweet, elderly woman shaking your hand at church then you may feel free to beam and say, “Wonderful.” If the question is asked by a male and he punctuates it with a wink and a pair of waggling eyebrows, a simple smile and nod will suffice. Do not fuel the flame.
5. If you have family members who are easily offended you should write their “thank you” notes first. Not anything more to say about that.
6. Enjoy every relaxing minute of your honeymoon. Because when you get back and are thrust back into the day-to-day work thing again, it’s no fun. Your brain is still set on Honeymoon Mode (and may be for some time), but you have to go to work just like you did before the wedding. Sigh.
7. No wedding will ever compare to your own. Sure, grander ones will be put on and then seeing your children and grandchildren wed will be very special, but (at this point) I can’t imagine a wedding sparkling more, filling me with more excitement, or making me feel more like I was finally “home” than my own.
8. After about a month, everything about being married starts to feel like normal. I never would have imagined that part, but it’s true! (for us at least) So forget your fears that you’ll roll over in the middle of the night and wonder who’s there…you’ll know.
9. For the ladies…Boys eat a lot of food. Be prepared.
10. You will disagree and you will be okay. Even if you rarely disagreed before the wedding, something is likely to come up. You will get past it.
11. Go ahead and tell everyone you’ve had your first fight so they’ll stop asking. Next to the pregnancy one, this has got to be the most annoying question ever.
12. Attention, men. Ladies sometimes take a while in the bathroom. Wait. It literally takes you 5 minutes to get ready.
13. The first few months (years?) will be the time of your life. Enjoy.
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Oklahoma girl through-and-through. Writer, aspiring domestic goddess and totalitarian dictator. Taking on the world one carb-induced coma at a time. Founder of GodlyGals, a ministry for women established in 2002. Co-host of Picture Shows & Petticoats. 
hehe This list is so true! I don’t get ask the pregnancy question, but I do get asked about married life and that is annoying.
I cooked for my husband when we were engaged so it made the transition easier. The hardest part of the transition for me was sharing my bed and I still don’t share it that well.
I agree with all of them. I don’t know if after a month our marriage started to feel normal but I can see how it was sooner that expected. After one year my wife and I still don’t have things under both of our names like a savings account or the car insurance, so that’s going very slow. When they ask me ‘how married life treating you’ I always say ‘better than I expected’.
This isn’t maybe the most Christian approach, but I found that just kind of… “wigging out” on the person who’s asked you 14 times when you’re having a baby worked wonders for me. I think maybe my eye twitched a little bit too, which helped up the “crazy” factor. We were pretty much left alone after that. ;D
I’ve also found that the truth works really well. One day at church I stood up after service and patted my belly cuz I was starving (no breakfast) and a woman asked me if I was pregnant and I sweetly replied, “Nope! Just fat!” I thought she was going to slide down the pew. I wasn’t (trying to be) vindictive when I said it… just being truthful at the time! No one at church has harassed me since.
Thanks for all of the “heads-up’s!”
I read a suggestion somewhere to name some extremely specific, far off date when someone asks when you’re going to have a baby. Never done it but it would be funny.
Love #8. I could tell you were nervous about that and couldn’t wait to see it changed. It’s because we were MEANT to be married!
#1 was asked to me the day of the wedding by one my husband’s aunts! I was like O__o
Nowadays it’s just the “so, when are you having kids?” Geez, haven’t been married a full year yet; hold your horses people!
@Rose — Nervous? About what? There’s nothing regarding #8 that I was nervous about. At all. In fact, I wasn’t nervous the whole time. I never got nervous. People kept asking me if I was yet and the fact was that it just never happened for me.
Maybe nervous is the wrong word. I just got the impression you thought it would take some getting used to living with a boy, sharing space, etc, but my experience was that everything was finally the way it should be. It sounds like you are having the same experience.
Tell them you have some “good news” and then give them a Bible.