I have a few neuroses. I can admit that. When I was in 2nd grade my teacher handed out an award to each of us that was made personal by acknowledging us for one particular thing that we contributed to our class. My award was “Most Imaginative Student.” I don’t remember it, because I was too beaming and proud as I marched across the stage to take my piece of paper, but I’m certain my mom and granny were somewhere in the back stifling their laughter. Because “most imaginative” was really just the tip of the iceberg.
People, I’m the one who had an imaginary husband at age 2.
Second grade was a somewhat disturbing year for me. While I never stopped making the good grades that would follow me all of my days through public school, that year I spent a lot of time drawing pictures of “Charlie Bronw” (as I spelled it back then), writing stories, and sharing my latest nightmare with my classmates during recess. That last thing? Yeah, doesn’t go over well with teachers and definitely not with the other parents.
I was always into shocking people though. In 1st grade I got in a lot of trouble for going around to all the kids I knew that believed in Santa and telling them that he wasn’t real. It’s a wonder I never acted out as a teen.
Along with the shocking, I loved to be shocked. Stories of the macabre gave me a thrill. Probably because it was forbidden. My parents didn’t let me watch or read anything (that they knew of) that dealt with subject matter that was the least bit questionable. The school library, however tame, served to whet my appetite.
Now, thankfully, my interests in the bizarre are pretty much limited to time travel. Because…yeesh. Life was hard enough anyway. No need to ostracize myself as a freak.
All this to say, you’d think that with my love of all things freaky and weird and shocking to my mom, there wouldn’t be much that would make me shudder. Nothing that I’d find so disturbing that I’d have to turn from the TV and shout, “Change it! Change the channel!” But you’d be thinking wrong.
The first time I can remember reacting to something in this way was when I was watching a show that I wasn’t allowed to view anyway — My Little Pony (I know, but there was magic…are you starting to understand now?). I don’t remember how we landed on the show. Maybe it came on after Duck Tales. Either way, we were watching it and on this particular episode some of the ponies had fallen into quicksand and were in it up to their stomachs. My 6-year-old eyes interpreted something very different though.
I saw ponies with no legs.
There were ponies and they were missing their legs. Not cut off or injured, but cleanly removed. Nowhere to be found. It was a deformity. Something I’d never seen. And I reacted like a lunatic.
“CHANGE IT!”
Luckily my parents raised me better and I knew never to respond in such a way to a person with a birth defect or abnormality, or to someone who lost some part of their body to injury. (My dad lost part of his finger in an accident when I was in high school.) Still, my response to such things on television as a child, and to some extent even now, has been to wince in pain. Turn my head. Ache for that person or animal and just pray that it goes away. I don’t think anyone outside of my family (if they even noticed) ever witnessed this. And the one time that it happened in a group of people…well, let me tell you. It is, after all, the title of this post.
Last weekend, while I was pukey, Kevin looked over at me from behind his laptop and said, “Hey, Netflix has Johnny Tremain now. Mind if I move it to the top of the queue?”
I stared back. “Johnny Tremain?”
“Yeah. The Disney version.”
“Umm…”
–
I don’t remember what year it was. Maybe 6th or 7th grade. We were studying the American Revolution and a number of different patriots. Our reader had featured a short story on Johnny Tremain and so our teacher thought that it would be a good time to incorporate the Disney film. Not knowing what to expect, I settled in to watch what I thought would be a gentle, possibly goofy, tale of the patriot’s life. You know, like Davy Crockett. A good movie to pass notes in the middle of.
They need to put a warning on these things.
I watched, in horror, as Mr. Tremain’s hand was enveloped in molten silver. And then the bell rang. The video was stopped and we were going to finish it the next day. I sat there.
Wait. Dude. DUDE. (That was my word back then.) The guy just had his hand covered in molten hot metal! What does that do to a person? I wanted to know the facts. What was I going to come back to the next day? Severe burns? It’s not like you can pick metal off the skin like a bad sunburn. Yuck. Missing fingers? Was he going to lose his entire hand? What happens when you dip your hand in something that hot? Does it just fall off?
I had so many questions. And I was thoroughly freaked out. I had always wondered what would happen if you stuck a limb in lava. Do you pull back a stump?
I never found out the answers to my questions. Something came up and we didn’t get to finish the film. And so, for the past 13 years, I have lived in fear of the Disney film, Johnny Tremain. It never occurred to me that I might have to watch it in its entirety. Tonight I will. Not because I want to. Marriage is full of sacrifices.
But you’d better believe I’ll never watch Freaks.
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Oklahoma girl through-and-through. Writer, aspiring domestic goddess and totalitarian dictator. Taking on the world one carb-induced coma at a time. Founder of GodlyGals, a ministry for women established in 2002. Co-host of Picture Shows & Petticoats. 
I’m glad I’m not the only one who freaked out easily when it came to cartoons.
Also, I had to watch Freaks in my first class on the first day of my first semester at OU. Needless to say, I thought college was going to be terrible. Luckily, it all went up hill. I still have nightmares about the armless, legless man slithering to come get me, though.
You know, I SAW Johnny Tremain in the 7th grade, but I can’t remember how that worked out for Mr. Tremain. You’ll have to let me know.
I loved this post!
I remember reading the book Johnny Tremain in 7th grade but never seeing the movie. It must’ve come out afterwards. I remember the molten silver but not why he had that done or everything behind the story. Must go wiki this now!