Once upon a time, there was a castle little white house in a small city and it was covered with a thick blanket of beautiful roses a bunch of nasty weeds and tree branches. A fair princess suburban housewife lived inside with her handsome, devoted, and brave prince husband. The husband fought off many fire-breathing dragons tackled the yard work and kept them safe inside their home.
The husband worked to cut away all the branches so that sunlight would once again shine on their house. A great pile of wood grew in the backyard. Higher and higher every day. Bit by bit, the housewife and the husband cleared away the pile but never seemed to make any headway. The housewife grew uneasy because she was originally from the country and she knew what was drawn to woodpiles — critters.
But surely there would be no critters in the city…right?
First, there was a possum.
Then a rat in the garden.
And then another one of those fire-breathing dragons a snake.
In the dark of the night the husband summoned the housewife to the drawbridge porch. There on the cement slithered the snake. He sought her country expertise in creepy crawly things. That, and her ability to hold a flashlight.
The snake looked suspect and no chances could be taken with their prized stallion terrier mix living in the backyard. The husband took a whack at it and disabled it. Then the housewife took the shovel and chopped off the snake’s head.
And then they frantically searched the tomes in their library the Internet to see if they’d killed a poisonous viper or a harmless, helpful creature.
Crud. Looks like he was one of the good guys.
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Oklahoma girl through-and-through. Writer, aspiring domestic goddess and totalitarian dictator. Taking on the world one carb-induced coma at a time. Founder of GodlyGals, a ministry for women established in 2002. Co-host of Picture Shows & Petticoats. 
I love how you wrote this! (With the fairy-tale context).
I’m no snake expert, though I do know that most dangerous snakes have diamond-shaped heads.
There really aren’t too many snakes to worry about. Find out about the ‘bad’ ones and when you see a good one just let it be. They will eat your rats and mice!
Hey, I think one less snake is always a good thing. Hey, our hatred of snakes goes all the way back to the garden!
This was brilliant! You’re such a great writer Elizabeth, I always look forward to your posts!
My grandmother, a country girl herself, used a shovel to chop the head off anything she saw that didn’t have legs. She’s still around at 103, so perhaps there are some health benefits?
You crack me up. This is one fantastic blog!
This is very funny. However, I hope that my future prince/husband will kill the snakes himself…though I may have to step in (as a country girl myself) and do what you did!
And my poodle lives inside. So, yeah.
But go you for killing the snake! Lottie & I once came across an actual copperhead not two feet away from us on a path in a local park. Scariest thing I’ve ever encountered.
I’m of the thinking that the only good snake is a dead snake! We have mice something terrible, and our backyard is currently home to a few snakes. It gives me the heeby jeebys. I’d rather have a cat!