1. After the wedding people will start asking you if you’re pregnant. If you have family members that have been harassing you since you were 7, asking, “When’re you going to get married?” rest assured, they won’t be without ammo now that you are married. Nope. Now all you’ll get is the pregnancy question. Don’t you dare think you can suggest that you have “good news” or a “surprise” for any family members. That’s the first conclusion they’re going to jump to.

2. Suddenly, people will start treating you like an adult. It’s so weird. You may already be 30, employed, and well situated in life when you get married, but there’s something about having a ring on your finger that really convinces everyone that you’re settled firmly in Adultdom.

3. Paradoxically, others will assume you are still a child. And that you want their unsolicited advice.

4. The question, “How’s married life?” means different things to different people. You will need to become a skilled reader of body language and facial expressions. For instance, if the person asking is a sweet, elderly woman shaking your hand at church then you may feel free to beam and say, “Wonderful.” If the question is asked by a male and he punctuates it with a wink and a pair of waggling eyebrows, a simple smile and nod will suffice. Do not fuel the flame.

5. If you have family members who are easily offended you should write their “thank you” notes first. Not anything more to say about that.

6. Enjoy every relaxing minute of your honeymoon. Because when you get back and are thrust back into the day-to-day work thing again, it’s no fun. Your brain is still set on Honeymoon Mode (and may be for some time), but you have to go to work just like you did before the wedding. Sigh.

7. No wedding will ever compare to your own. Sure, grander ones will be put on and then seeing your children and grandchildren wed will be very special, but (at this point) I can’t imagine a wedding sparkling more, filling me with more excitement, or making me feel more like I was finally “home” than my own.

8. After about a month, everything about being married starts to feel like normal. I never would have imagined that part, but it’s true! (for us at least) So forget your fears that you’ll roll over in the middle of the night and wonder who’s there…you’ll know.

9. For the ladies…Boys eat a lot of food. Be prepared.

10. You will disagree and you will be okay. Even if you rarely disagreed before the wedding, something is likely to come up. You will get past it.

11. Go ahead and tell everyone you’ve had your first fight so they’ll stop asking. Next to the pregnancy one, this has got to be the most annoying question ever.

12. Attention, men. Ladies sometimes take a while in the bathroom. Wait. It literally takes you 5 minutes to get ready.

13. The first few months (years?) will be the time of your life. Enjoy.

♥ tomatoes still warm from the sun
♥ puppies splashing in pool
♥ the gentle buzz in the air at night
♥ how the sky seems so much bigger
♥ snowcones
♥ the farmer’s market
♥ fried squash
♥ a haircut for summer
♥ iced water with lemon wedges
♥ trips to the lake
♥ campfires
♥ a long time ‘til sunset
♥ watering plants in the early morning hours

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It’s been a while. This planning a wedding thing takes up a lot of a girl’s time. On the up side, only 2 months, 4 weeks, and 1 day until our wedding!

Lately, all I have been doing is pushing through my to-do list of DIY things for the wedding. Right now we’re (me and yes, the prospective groom, Kevin) working on getting the invitations cut out and assembled. I designed them myself, printed them on handmade seaside papers, and now we’re trimming them up and attaching them to some sturdy “eggplant” colored cardstock. The invitations should be going on the first week of April.

Next on the list of things to do is to stamp out the “wish jars” on some cardstock. Guests will be asked to leave their wishes, hopes, and advice for us “in” the jars at the reception. I’m really looking forward to what you all will have to say!

Also, I have to find a guestbook I’m happy with. At this point I am thinking about just going to Hobby Lobby and buying the one that matches the flower girl baskets and ring pillow. I was going to go for a more creative idea, but now I’m kinda…eh. Whatev. Let’s get this show on the road.

Here’s a short list of things that I have left to do. I assure you I am forgetting some of them.

• Finish slideshow
• Make more sparkly garland
• Figure out order of ceremony
• Purchase cardstock for wish jars and programs
• Put together program & print
• Get Kevin’s ring engraved
• Purchase gifts for attendants
• Locate & purchase cylinder (tower) vases
• Purchase Mason jars

Whew. I’ll be back later today with some links for you to enjoy after your Sunday afternoon nap. Off to church!

—————

Have a nice nap? Good. I gardened.

• Obama: Your conscience means nothing to me
• The cutest measuring spoons I’ve ever seen
• LOST Cake by Ace of Cakes

This whole Google Flu Trends thing got me thinking.

Sometimes I feel a little more canine than human. Well, I guess it’s not necessarily that I feel more like another species, but it behave a little more like one whenever I am ill. How, you ask? Allow me to explain.

When I first started dating Kevin there was something that I had to make clear from the start. When I am sick I want to be alone. Much like a dog (or a cow or some kind of herd animal) I pull away from the crowd whenever I am feeling ill. Not sure if it’s nature’s way of keeping me from passing things on to others or if it’s the way that I am wired. It has nothing to do with vanity, as he saw me in PJ pants and a hoodie before we were even dating (remember that time you came over after I had put up my Christmas tree and we sat on opposite ends of the couch and talked for like 2 hours?). And when I am sick I have no problem going to Wal-mart or a drug store to pick up necessities (operative word) with my hair in a bun, wearing sweatpants and an XXL shirt I received for free my freshman year of college when I signed up for a credit card (that was never used, mind you). Or even in a jacket covered in muddy dog prints that I didn’t realize was covered in muddy dog prints until I was standing behind some blond co-eds in a self-checkout line who were dressed to the nines for their 1:30 pm class. So you see, vanity is not the issue. It could be more that sheer apathy is the problem, but I’ll move on.

In times of sickness, all I want to do is curl up on my couch or bed and be left alone to lick my wounds. Not literally, because that’s disgusting, but you understand what I’m saying. I need the quiet, the privacy, the lack of responsibility, and the rest that comes with being left on my own. This may come across sounding unappreciative of people who want to be helpful whenever someone is sick. I know, because I am one of those people (unless you have something really gross and “catchin’”—then I’ll see you around) who wants to make sure you have enough food, medicine, pillows, and cheesy movies to get you through your time of trouble. And I guess this makes me some sort of hypocrite. I do appreciate when someone wants to help, but I cannot explain to you how much better I feel being alone. Solitude is what I use to recharge. Even when someone asks me to describe my perfect weekend or something, my ideal always involves a bath, a book, and some cooking*—not because I don’t love other people (I do!), it’s just that when it comes to recuperating, that is The Ultimate.

What is your preferred mode of recovery when you’re sick?

*Though I feel pretty equally enthused about entertaining a small number of close friends in my home.

Ronnica posted a photo meme today and I thought I’d go ahead and play along. Looks fun!

• Go to your sixth picture folder, then pick your sixth picture.
• Pray that you remember the details.
• Tag 5 others, leave a comment to let them know they’ve been tagged.

Heather may kill me, but this is it:

That’s Heidi and Heather at Heather’s bachelorette party last January. Fun times

And I’m not going to tag anyone just because.

This week I am doing something a little different with my Thursday Thirteen. I hope you enjoy a little break from the lists!

A few weeks ago I visited my parents and captured a few shots of my mom’s cat, Katie. I say “Katie” just to give her a name. That’s what someone decided to call her, but it never stuck. Mostly she just gets called “Your Cat” and that’s because people only ever talk to my mom about her. So it’s always “Mom’s Cat.” Poor thing.

(click here for larger version)

Well, I think this one is just begging for a LOLcat caption of some sort. So I am going to let you have it. The first thirteen captions I will post in order here this week, along with a link to your blog. The best (in my opinion) thirteen captions will be posted next week, along with a link to your blog. I’ll let the public vote on the funniest of the thirteen and I will present the winner (if he or she wants) with a prize. What will the prize be? Well, I’m thinking about picking out random items from around my house and mailing them to you. But you have to decide if you want to give your mailing address out to a total stranger so that she can mail you random items from her home. Because it could totally be a ball of fur that I scrape out of my Scoodle’s shedding coat.

1. “I want to be left alone!” – SJ Reidhead
2. “What?????? A camera! I love my picture taken.” – Michelle
3. “I’m too sexy for this camera. Yeah on the catwalk!” – Malcolm
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.

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Oh, you didn’t hear? I’m getting married!
Next year!
If you want, I can flaunt the things you can get your
Lizzy dear!

(English degree being of some use in my life after college — check.)

1. Mr. Coffee 4-Cup Programmable Coffeemaker CGX5 – I am sold on having a timer on my coffee maker.
2. KitchenAid Artisan Stand Mixer, Onyx Black – It’s not a wedding registry until you have a KitchenAid mixer on it.
3. Bodum Glass Teapot – There is something about being able to see the tea brewing in the pot. I think these things are gorgeous.
4. Molcajete = GUACAMOLE!
5. “Fiesta” Dinnerware in Scarlet – This stuff is so pretty. Planning on using it as our casual dining ware.
6. Cuisinart “SmartPower Duet” Chrome Blender/Food Processor – I need one that doesn’t leak out my Avocado Soup.
7. Glass Mixing Bowls, Set of 10 – Again, I just love the clear glass and being able to see what you’re making.
8. Zeroll Ice Cream Scoop – Have you seen these things in action? They are amazing. I will use it to scoop my low-carb ice cream
9. Shun Classic Kitchen Shears – Mine gave out a while back and I was trying to put off buying new ones, in anticipation of my wedding shower, but I just couldn’t. So I’m using cheapies again. I give them a couple of months, tops.
10. Glass Domed Cake Plate – Seeing a trend here? I like to be able to enjoy the beauty of the food I make.
11. Tarnow Trifle Bowl – And, umm…yeah. Again. I can’t think of a trifle though without thinking of the episode of Friends when Rachel makes one.
12. Williams-Sonoma Casual Pitcher – I’ll make lemonade in this puppy. Sugar-free, most likely. But lemonade, still.
13. Anniversary Bundt® Pan – Kevin! I’ll make you a Bundt!

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1. We’re uneducated. As for myself and the person sitting next to me, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

2. We will connect you to the CEO, president, or some other person that has no desire to speak with you. We can, but you have got to be kidding.

3. We have all the answers at our fingertips. Most, but not all.

4. We have no other calls coming in and we can keep you on hold as long as you want to be there. Wrong again, bucko. Especially when there is only one receptionist here. Please just leave a message. PLEASE.

5. We can make the person you called for 5 minutes ago, who we told you had just stepped out to lunch and would be back in an hour, appear magically out of a snag in our No nonsense® knee highs. And then a second time out of our tightly wound bun when you call again 10 minutes later.

6. We are too lazy to transfer your call. I really need to file my nails now, you should call again later.

7. We are lying when we tell you that someone is in a meeting. And again when they are still in that meeting. It’s not like they are working or anything.

8. We are bimbos. See #1.

9. We were hired to be the eye-candy. I don’t know, this may be true.

10. We enjoy it when you ogle us from the other side of the front desk. Obviously, because we’re uneducated bimbos and eye-candy.

11. We are nosy. All the questions we’re asking you are just so that we can know everything about you. It’s not so we can do our jobs or anything like that.

12. We can control whether or not the person you want to speak with actually picks up the phone. Listen to me — if they don’t pick up the phone, they have let you go to voice mail. They do not want to talk to you right now. Please leave a message and they will get back to you as soon as…oh forget it. Whenever the boss walks by and they need to look busy.

13. We can totally give you the president’s cell phone number. What planet are you from? Oh, you’re a personal friend? Right, that’s why you hang up whenever we tell you we have no access to that number (that’s sitting right in front of us, but come on, we’d like to keep our jobs).

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Thirteen of My Favorite Podcasts

13. GodlyGals Podcast – I’ll take this opportunity to plug my own! On a bi-weekly basis, GodlyGals hosts a podcast along with a live chat room. We also take calls via Skype and we’re having a great time with it so far. Check it out sometime! We announce podcasts ahead of time and if you’d like to be notified when we schedule a new one, join the GodlyGals Facebook group, friend us on Myspace, or just send an email to godlygals@godlygals.com and asked to be added to the mailing list.

12. GSPN.tv Lost Podcast – I mostly listen to this one for the callers because they have a lot of people listening live who call in with really great theories. And that’s really all I’m going to say about that one. Listen and you can decide for yourself what you think.

11. The Transmission – Ryan and Jen Ozawa started the first LOST podcast, left for some time, and are back again. Ryan is responsible for breaking a lot of spoilerific news about LOST because they live on the island — wait, I seriously just said, “they live on the island.” They don’t live on The Island (which I’m sure exists), they live in Hawaii.

10. Talk of the Nation podcast – I like this one, but I hate how they give a patronizing giggle toward conservatives. You seriously think you give fair coverage? No, you do not. But I still listen because I like to know what’s going on in the world. Or what some people think is going on.

9. NPR’s Fresh Air podcast – Why listen to the radio when you can download for free? (Bad Liz, bad!) But I’m not home when it comes on and I prefer the comfort of my tub to the seat of my car. I really enjoy hearing the various guests they have on. Unless it’s someone really boring that day, like a former aide to President Clinton. Seriously. It’s over, people.

8. The Lone Conservative – I just discovered this one, but I really like it so far. The guy has spirit.

7. The Jay & Jack Show – Jay & Jack’s Ramblecast and The Married Man podcast have merged to form this new show. Why are these guys so entertaining? They’ve even had special guest, Jorge Garcia on the show a few times. True, I can do without “Hybrid” (Cliff) and Dale, but I just love Jay and Jack together. For those of you who don’t know, Jack is Jay’s stepdad, but you’d never guess they weren’t related. P.S.; Call the show on your cell phone while driving. Jack will love it.

6. Mars Hill Podcast – I really enjoy hearing Mark Driscoll speak so it’s nice to have his sermons showing up in my iTunes on a weekly basis. I recommend the one on birth control and another on the “emergent church.” Strictly biblical. I like it that way.

5. The Dharmalars – You know. LOST. What can I say. Not one for the kiddies and you can pretty much skip the first 15 minutes as it’s nearly always them goofing around. Good discussion about LOST theories though.

4. The Lost Initiative – With Kim and Aimee. Not the stupid British one. I wouldn’t recommend this podcast to any children or anyone with children in the room, but I like to hear a female take on the show. And they played one of my calls (nerd alert) and were very impressed with my question. *beam*

3. LOST Unlocked – Voices. Sometimes they annoy. But I got past that and really started enjoying the show. A little bit cheesy, but they like to talk about in-depth theories from time to time and that’s fun for me.

2. This American Life podcast – I love this show. Love love love it. There’s something about being told stories that reminds me of when I was little and watching Reading Rainbow or something. Check out their episode, “The Ghost of Bobby Dunbar.” I’ve still got the episode saved so that I can let Kevin’s dad listen sometime. It’s about a kid disappearing in North Carolina back around the time his dad was growing up. I think he might find it interesting and might even remember what happened. Very intriguing story.

1. The Lost Podcast with Jay & Jack – At first, Jay’s voice annoyed me. Then I realized they are one of the best LOST podcasts out there and they won me over. I downloaded all of their episodes and listened. This week they are at Comic-Con and I can’t wait to hear all the fun LOST-related stuff they have to report back. Anyone else planning to join Dharma after the launch? (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you aren’t a serious LOST fan and you are dead to me. Unless you’re my fiance.)

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Thirteen Things About My Weight Loss Journey

1. If I hadn’t started getting sick, this probably never would have happened. As in, I wouldn’t have recognized that there was a real problem and that I was going to have to make drastic changes.

2. In September of 2006 I started working at a daycare and it wasn’t long before I started getting ill on a regular basis. One particular illness lasted around 2 months and at the end of November I was at my worst. This was also around the time that Kevin and I started dating. The reason I bring this up is because I never really got better. One week it would be intestinal, the next it would be and upper respiratory infection. I missed out on a lot of things that I had going on in my life. I had to drop out of the ministry team that I was on (due to a class, but being sick had made staying active a real problem). I felt like a loser being sick all the time. There had been things I’d dealt with in college, but nothing like this.

3. It was during this time that I started getting really, really tired. My hair was falling out. I was gaining weight. I didn’t reach my heaviest point until around the summer of 2007, and at that point and beyond I was eating healthy, balanced meals and exercising on a regular basis. None of it made any sense.

4. I was in a Pilates class and very active on SparkPeople.com to try and take control. I strongly recommend SparkPeople.com and if you go by and sign up, please list MISSWISABUS as your referrer. I’ll send you cool stuff on there because I have points running out my ears.

5. No matter what I did, nothing helped. I was listening to all the advice. Eating healthy foods. Could I chalk this up to “happy relationship weight”? At one point I thought I could, but seriously…what relationship is that good? I had gained nearly 20 lbs since Kevin and I started dating.

6. Finally, I got scared. I was having too many health problems — weight gain, fatigue, hair loss, migraines, muscle cramps and joint pain, abnormal menstrual cycles, low basal body temperature, heat intolerance, impaired memory, reactive hypoglycemia, increased need for sleep, irritability and mood instability. A description I gave someone of my life at the point when this was so bad:

I get up early in the morning for work or class, depending on the day, come home, eat a late lunch, and immediately crash for 2-3 hours. I get up, work around here and do homework, hit another tired point around 7 or 8 pm, press through that, and then I can’t get to sleep until around 12 or 1 a.m. Right now I am concerned that I could have some thyroid issues because I could literally sleep all day if I let myself.

Everything seemed to point to my thyroid.

7. In January, I visited my family doctor. Explained everything to him, expected to get my thyroid tested, get medicine, and start losing weight. The problem runs in my family and it seemed that simple. It wasn’t.

He is fairly certain that it is either my thyroid or PCOS. Knowing what that was, and being completely unprepared for that, I nearly lost it in the office. Kept calm though. Tomorrow I will have all the tests done. Then we’ll either medicate the thyroid condition (I’m hoping it’s that) or move on to a specialist (either my gyno or an endocrinologist). My doc thought the symptoms sounded more like PCOS, but my gyno never caught anything. It is possible that if there are cysts they are very very tiny and couldn’t be felt.

That floored me. Having been told that I had endomytriosis whenever I was in junior high/high school, I was familiar with PCOS. Did. Not. Want.

8. I was tested for everything under the sun.

All my tests came back clear. In a way, it’s a relief, in another, I am terribly discouraged. If it was hypothyroidism I could take the medicine and pretty much be done with it. This means that I have to go on to an endocrinologist for more tests and I’m not looking forward to it.

More tests.

9. I went to visit the endocrinologist in March. I wasn’t happy with what he told me and was basically ready to follows his rules, stick my tongue out at him, and show him that they wouldn’t work. Disclaimer: This was my reaction before realizing exactly what kind of problems I was having and their cause.

First of all, for future reference, be prepared to take off all your clothes (except panties) when you visit one of these doctors. I had not been informed and consequently had hairy legs. Oh well. Plus, it was a male doctor who was seeing me naked and that was unexpected as well. It’s not like it killed me, but I would have preferred a female doctor had I known that was going to happen.

He started out by asking me questions about my symptoms, I went down the entire list to him. He checked my reflexes, my feet, my breathing, and lymph nodes.

He asked me if I’d do a radical diet change if he needed me to. I said sure. Then he said “Atkins” and I just about checked out. I don’t agree with the diet. I think it’s a fast way to get results that are not permanent once you go back to eating balanced meals. Just wanted to get that out in the open. However, I have to do it for 90 days. God, give me strength. We’re going to focus on getting the fat off my body while we deal with the other problems.

Soon I will have to go in for some blood tests (about 10 different ones). What he was most concerned about is the chance that I may be producing too much cortisol. If you have seen commercials for various diet pills you will know that cortisol is the nasty little chemical that causes fat to build up in your middle section. That’s definitely where mine is.

Anyway, I’m getting a lot of hormone tests done in the near future and hopefully we will have some answers soon. And for the next 90 days I’ll be following a diet that I whole-heartedly disagree with, but at this point I am willing to try anything. Tomorrow I am going to the grocery store to buy meat and cheese. Yum.

10. The hormone tests came back and my endocrinologist told me I had PCOS and that I needed to see my family doctor. Only…my hormones weren’t the right levels to suggest PCOS, so I’m not exactly sure where he was getting that from. Either way, since starting the diet, all my problems have disappeared and PCOS doesn’t seem to be on the radar anymore. (More on that below)

11. So that was that. Little did I know what would soon happen. After the two week induction phase which ALMOST killed me, I was feeling great. I had so much energy. My need for a nap was completely gone. And I lost 9 lbs in the first week. I know, that’s a lot, but it was mostly water weight and the remainder has been much, much slower. Every single health issue was GONE. The digestive issues I had grown up with had disappeared completely. Even early on, I felt like a new woman.

12. I am to a point where I can say to the world, “This is how much I weigh.” I am a woman and I’m telling you my weight. This is a breakthrough. Why? Because I’ve felt fat since I was 6-years-old. First, I’ll tell you where I started. My highest weight on SparkPeople.com is listed as 168 lbs. That’s right folks. However, I distinctly remember reaching 171, being too depressed to enter it, pouring a jar of hot fudge on some Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream, and dying a slow, fudgey death.

NOW…I am at my halfway point. I weigh 146.5 lbs on the dot. And my goodness, it feels good to say that. It’s less than I weighed when I graduated high school, maybe less that when I was in junior high. And I’m proud.

13. The point is: I FEEL GOOD. About myself (inside), my body, the things that I’m eating, the steps I’m taking to stay healthy, the direction my life is going in and EVERYTHING really. I had gotten to a point where I was looking at plus size clothing online and resigning myself to the fact that I would always be overweight. Looking for cute clothes that would hide the “fluff” I was so desperately ashamed of. Trying to make myself think that it was okay to remain at an unhealthy weight for the rest of my life, convinced that I couldn’t be where I needed to be.

What I had to realize was that I have a problem. I cannot handle the sugar and all the refined starches and such. My body just doesn’t do those. No matter what you think about low-carbing (I’m not “no-carbing”, I get my carbs from healthier, more natural sources like fruits and nuts), for me it is what works and what I have to do. I have made a life change and I praise God for bringing that crazy doctor into my life.

You do not have to stay where you are. If you are overweight (or under, though I’ve never experienced that and can’t really imagine) and dealing with the issues that come along with it, listen to me — realize that it is NOT okay to be content in an unhealthy place. You are killing yourself. You are worth more to God and the people around you and you have got to see that. Your excuses don’t fly. Tomorrow isn’t when you change. And understand, it’s not the world holding you back, not your friend or your family, your career or school — it is you. You have to take responsibility, understand that it is your body, and YOU have to want the change. That may sound harsh, but it is true. I learned it the hard way, but thankfully started crawling out of the pit before I was too far in.

You can too. And I’m serious, if anyone reading this wants to talk to me about what I went through, what you’re going through…whatever…feel free. Find me on SparkPeople or send me an email at liz@misswisabus.com.

UPDATE: 134 lbs as of 6/24/09