The world waits to come out with this carbohydrate wonder until I can’t have them? How is this fair? BLUEBERRY MUFFIN CEREAL.

Crabtown in OKC is hosting a watch party for the premiere of season 4 of the Discovery Channel’s Deadliest Catch. King crab dinner for $19.99 on April 15. Yum yum.

So, I’m low-carbing, right? It’s changed my life. Complete 180. I couldn’t have imagined how much better I would feel, the energy I would have (Though, I could definitely handle requiring more sleep than I currently feel like I need. The energy I have between 10pm and 2am alone may be enough to raise Dr. Atkins from the dead. Will look into this.), and how good bacon can taste. Turkey bacon. I’m still not sold on the real stuff. But man, it’s not bad living. Steak, seafood, baloney (I HAVE VERY WEIRD TASTE. Or none.), and HEAVY CREAM. Oh, heavy cream, my love. I’m really starting to wonder if clouds are perhaps angel poop, which is, in reality, whipped heavy cream.* I don’t believe in the space program, so do you think we could get someone at NASA on that one? Maybe the lady with the adult diapers? Let me know what you think.

I’ve been trying out lower carb options that various companies have to offer. It’s worth noting that some of them are really bad for you and not actually that good for a low-carb diet. There is this website I’ve found where I bought some low-carb ketchup (which I later found out is available at Wal-Mart for half the price — way to go, Liz), milled flax seed, and high protein low-carb chocolate pudding. Had no idea how the stuff would taste, but at the time that I bought this I hadn’t had good tasting chocolate in a while. And it turns out I really like chocolate, who knew. So I buy it, kinda forget about it, and then it comes in the mail yesterday. I was looking around at the website that I bought it from and realized that it was recommended for people who have undergone gastric bypass surgery. And it’s listed in the “Gastric Bypass Foods” section of their website. That is fine and dandy, because I know that there is a need for foods that are appropriate for that diet (no idea what your body goes through after that), I am just not sure if I can stomach what my mind now knows as “gastric bypass pudding.” It reminds of “Katrina punch” if you know what I mean.

*Sorry, after reading that a second time I realized how nasty it was. But I’m leaving it there. Because I keep it real. Umm, yeah.

The forecast for today says “Chance Sprinkles.”

This is the first thing that came to mind:

Hope you all have a great Easter.

Yesterday I visited an endocrinologist to try and determine the cause of some problems I have been having. While there are still tests to be run, one thing that he wanted me to do to get my weight down quickly (whatever this problem is has caused me to gain 20+ lbs) was start the Atkins diet. I am the biggest critic of this approach to weight loss. Yes, it’s quick, but it’s not a healthy way of living your life. I’m all about balanced meals. That, and I’m a carb queen. Give me a loaf of bread and I am happy. Anyway, I’m going to be doing this for 90 days and let me tell you, I wasn’t happy when he prescribed that. But he’s my doctor and that’s what he wants me to do right now, so I’m going to try it.

This morning while I was scanning through lists of things that I can eat, preparing a grocery list for later, I thought to myself, “Hmm, I wonder if avocados are legal on this thing? I mean, they’re full of fat, so they have to be!” And sure enough, they are. Not only can I have an avocado, I can have this: an Avocado Gazpacho Smoothie. Sign me up!

In my recent attempts to take control of my health and start eating things that are tasty and good for me, I’ve been trying out some new recipes. I definitely recommend SparkRecipes.com for healthy, easy meals that everyone can enjoy (and while you’re looking around there, don’t forget to check out SparkPeople.com and use MISSWISABUS as your referrer if you sign up!). This particular recipe was submitted by TABBYKAT75 who seems to be the queen of slow cooker meals. I made it tonight and it is yummy!

Crock Pot Chicken Athena
Cook time 3-7 hours
Serves 6

Ingredients
6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 medium onions, chopped
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 Tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/3 cup Kalamata olives, pitted and chopped
1/3 cup dried tomatoes, drained and roughly chopped
1 teaspoon salt, optional
2 Tablespoons chopped fresh basil
1/3 cup crumbled Feta cheese
1/4 cup capers (optional)

Directions
Place chicken in a crock pot and add the next 7 ingredients. Cover and cook on low setting for 7-8 hours (or on high setting for 3 1/2 to 4 hours) or until chicken juices run clear and chicken is completely cooked. Place chicken on a large serving platter and sprinkle with basil, Feta cheese and capers. Serve on top of pasta.

Kevin really, really likes his mom’s mac & cheese. I like it, too, but I’m more of a creamy mac & cheese gal. This particular version of mac & cheese has a little bit of a bite to it (from the mustard and the sharp cheddar), but I’m sure that is just exactly what some of you like. This morning on Good Morning, America (which I never watch, I just happened to have the tv on ABC last night when I went to bed) they were having a taste test on four different versions of mac & cheese. The one that sounded the best to me was Carnie Wilson’s “Fall On Your Knees Mac & Cheese.” It has cream cheese. *drool* I should note that she made this recipe before her surgery and before her significant weight loss. I will be making it soon (hey Aaryn, interested?).

Without further ado, I will share Kevin’s Mom’s Mac & Cheese with you. Make it for someone you love.

1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tbl. mustard
2 1/2 cups milk
1 stick of Cracker Barrel Extra Sharp Cheddar
2 cups elbow macaroni
Ham (sliced up; however much you prefer)

Boil macaroni noodles for 5 minutes (no more, no less)

Shred stick of cheese in round 2 quart casserole dish

In saucepan, melt butter. Remove from heat; blend flour, salt and
mustard. Add milk; heat stirring occasionally, until sauce thickens a
little and is smooth. Add shredded cheese, heat until melted, stirring
occasionally. Once cheese is melted completely in sauce, add sliced
ham. Pour boiled macaroni into casserole dish and then add the cheese
sauce. Bake at 375 F for 20 to 25 minutes or until top is golden
brown.

I’m not kidding.

If you see this post and for some reason decide to make it, or have a death wish (pretty much the same), do not hold me responsible. If you’re still breathing, go on over to SparkPeople.com and sign up. List MISSWISABUS as your referrer. We’ll make it through.

I need to make this again.

You can find the recipe for this delicious bird here. (Actually, the site is down right now. It’s the Lemon-Honey Chicken with Olives from Real Simple. Check it out sometime if you’re interested.)