Kevin chose moderation and had a hamburger and fries.

I…did not. I had a hamburger and fries and a chili dog. *hides face in shame*

But I have no regrets. Tomorrow is a new day, fresh with no hotdogs…err…mistakes in it.

There are a few things you need to be prepared for whenever you head out to pick blackberries. And since now is the time to be plucking those delicious dark fruits, I thought I’d share a few tips with you.

1. Silly hats, long sleeves, and long pants are a requirement. Chiggers, yellow jackets, spiders, little wormy bugs, and just about every critter you’d like to stay away from loves blackberries. And it’s gonna get hot out there so protect your head, face, and neck with a floppy hat. Or in my case a hat that is one size too small and makes me look like I belong to a back-to-basics religious community.

I have a big head.

No, not in a conceited way. In a “no-hat-ever-fits-my-head” way.

2. While you’re at it, spray yourself down with some OFF!

3. Wear decent shoes. You’re likely going to have gravel roads and definitely some briars and brambles to make your way through.

4. Make sure you have a good container to hold your berries. We like to use Rubbermaid containers that we fill with water as soon as we get back home. It’s good to rinse out all the sticks, leaves, ants, and little worms that might have made their way into your spoils.

5. Don’t forget to stop and enjoy the view. Blackberries are often found off the beaten path and this time of year there are tons of wildflowers blooming in Oklahoma. Be sure to take a moment to treasure the beauty that’s around you.

I find a lot of beauty in old barns. Blame it on my roots, I don’t mind.

6. Remember — all this sweet goodness comes at a price. You’re gonna get scraped, scratched, poked, and pierced. You may even be picking out the stickers days later (I was and always am).

(after a while, it’s hard to tell where the blackberry juice ends and the blood begins — yuck.)

But in the end, it’s worth it.

I thought about submitting this for Ree’s “happiness” photo assignment, but I’m not sure that canned cheese in the middle of Sam’s Club is exactly what she’s looking for.

(Photo courtesy of Heather; circa 2004)

I will admit that I had to turn to my college roommate, Heather, for some reminders about what I used to consume in the dorm. There’s truth to that whole thing about you diving into your comfort foods when you’re away from home. My first few years of college I don’t think I ate anything that didn’t have cheese on it. And I only consume white condiments, so…yeah. It wasn’t pretty.

Here we go!

1. Mashed potatoes topped with ranch dressing – Okay, this was a legitimate mistake the first time I did it. I think I assumed that because ranch dressing is white and peppery it was similar to country gravy. Wrong. BUT, this discovery should rank right up there with, you know, the “discovery” of “new worlds” that people had been living in for centuries.
2. Jalapeno Vienna Sausages – There’s no excuse. The jalapeno is impossible to find now. I haven’t had them since elementary school. I don’t know if they stopped making them ha! They didn’t. Found them on Amazon. Score!

   

3. Cream cheese – On anything. Like, umm…a spoon. Yeah, I really like cream cheese on a spoon. But I’ll take it on my cake. I’ll scoop it with a rake. I know it comes from a cow, but I’m not really sure how. It doesn’t matter to me, as long as you let me be. I really like cream cheese. Pass some, would you please?I’m not sure what just happened. I am, however, very ashamed of it.
4. Jalapeno Kettle Cooked Chips - I think this is how Heather and I bonded the first few weeks of college. There’s no telling how many bags of these things we ate. What I do remember is that very early on in our stay at Adams Tower, we spent an evening sharing a bag of these things and watching Son-In-Law. I knew I was going to be okay.
5. Fake cheese – You know what I’m talking about. That stuff in a can. And I’m not going to lie, the only reason I’ve gone to any sporting event ever in my life was for the nachos or hot dogs topped with this stuff.
6. Jack-in-the-Box Tacos – This is a new love of mine and I only first tried them last night. Bad in every way imaginable. First, they are processed (they arrive at the restaurant frozen with the meat already in the shell), then they are deep fried, and lastly they throw on a little cheese and lettuce. Be warned, I hear they can be pretty rough on the digestive system, but I turned out just fine! Ate them in the middle of a tornado outbreak and everything. (H/T to Jack of The Lost Podcast with Jay & Jack for mentioning how much he likes those things. I doubt I would have heard of them otherwise.)
7. Deviled Ham – This list may start revolving around processed mechanically separated chicken parts if I don’t watch it. Okay, so when I was a little kid I thought this stuff was fancy. We were at a church party and someone had made sandwiches with this stuff in the middle and they were cut into cute little shapes. I know this stuff has got to be what they sent back from the dog food factory, but I don’t care. It’s salty and fattening and I love it.
8. Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies – You could write songs about the things I would do for an Oatmeal Cream Pie. Again, we’re going back to childhood here. I can remember coming in after a long afternoon at my aunt’s pool in the summertime and grabbing one of these from the cabinet, sitting myself down in front of the TV, and enjoying mid-90s Nickelodeon cartoons. Mmm.
9. North Carolina Slaw Dogs – Okay, let me say that I have only had the pleasure of eating these things once in my life. I ordered it “all the way” (the way everyone else did) and while the slaw on top was a visual turn-off for me (despite being from Oklahoma, I have never, until recently, been a slaw-eater) I was pleasantly surprised at the depth of flavors in one of these hot dogs. Forgive me if I get the ingredients wrong (I’ve searched high and low online for a comprehensive list), but on mine I had a very red hot dog, chili, mustard, a dill pickle, and slaw. Maybe my husband can correct me later if I’m wrong. I’m sure it’s not good for you, but it’s so downright tasty I can’t resist. We’ll be visiting North Carolina again this summer and I can’t wait to get my hands on another one in Clinton.
10. McDonald’s Cheeseburger – It’s sort of a given and you may lose all respect for me — I don’t care. This is actually one of my favorite things to grab when I’m on the road. When I was little I would ask anyone who was eating with us if I could have the slices of pickle off of their own. In fact, I distinctly remember telling my mom that I was going to ask the people at the next table over if I could have theirs. She stopped me
11. Mayonaisse – Not really a food, just a condiment, but on here because 1) it’s totally bad, 2) if a person puts “lite” mayo on my sandwich it is going to have to be remade. Full fat is the only way I go with this stuff. And it’s low-carb!
12. You can guess this one. I went away to college and started consuming something that makes 18-year-olds the world over gain 15-25 lbs during their first year of school. You know it. Starts with a “b”… yup, the Burger King Chicken Caesar Club.

    

    No kidding, from about September of 2003 to May of 2004, I consumed one of these just about every other day. And honest — I didn’t gain a POUND that year. Don’t ask me how. Oh wait. Maybe it was hauling my tail end from Dale Hall to Sarkey’s in 10 minutes a few times each week. Yowza.

13. Quick Trip Egg Rolls – The first time I had one of these, okay, well, the only time was on a trip to Branson with Heather. We have a particular QT that we stop at on the east side of Tulsa and on this excursion we each grabbed a couple of these babies. We headed to the car and went on our merry way. Then I smelled something. I was this close to asking Heather if she had “uh-oh’d” (this is the only word we were ever allowed to use in my house; use your imagination) when I realized…it was the egg roll. I had already taken a bite and it was delicious! How could something so yummy smell like…doo-doo?

There you have it. There’s probably more, too, I just can’t think of them at the moment. Like I’ve said, it’s in my genes.

It’s just a matter of time. But right now…right now, fellas, we’re breakin’ up. Giving up my bready ways and starting over without you. Over the past few years I have learned what I can tolerate and what I can’t. I’ve learned that, for the most part, you’re just plain bad for me and that I’ll continue to be jealous of those that can enjoy you on a regular basis. To all of you folks who can enjoy a biscuit or a baked potato without hacking and coughing and intense abdominal cramps, well…

So, be prepared to endure recipes where I essentially do nothing but heat heavy cream, stir in a little dark cocoa, add a dose of Nyquil, and try to forget my carb-free sorrows. It’s a little like those Edwardless months of New Moon, only I describe every last second of my lamentations.

There is one thing though that my husband just plain does not approve of. I’ve known it from the start. I kept away from it the entire time we were dating and engaged. Well, wait. I might have had one slip, but that’s all. I promise. My respect for his opinion is much higher than my need want for this. All through college this was a major player in my life. I partook…a lot. He did, too, in his early days, but…

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. – 1 Corinthians 13:11

And for the most part, once we got married and were in such close quarters (with him living in what had been my domain and mine alone), I thought I would give it up to.

Then there was Friday. He had some things to do after school. A student was testing and then he wanted to get some things arranged in his room.

I’ve got time.

Hours, maybe. As I drove home, I developed a plan. He would be out of the house for a while. I could get by with it. I knew I could. Even though I knew that later that night I would be admitting it to Kevin. The smell would stay on me. And the smell is unmistakable.

I pulled into the parking lot, ran inside, and emerged with my spoils. I wondered how my clandestine activities might have appeared to anyone watching, but once I was home, what other people thought was the last thing on my mind.

I dug into the paperbag. Here I was. Home. In private. No one could see me. And in my hand was the thing I had been missing for so long.

I thought about my husband. He has his reasons for wanting to stay away from it. It was in abundance in college. Literally at our fingertips wherever we went at OU. Always available. A little on the trashy side, maybe. Poor quality, there’s no doubt. But there is something about it that reminds me of high school. Of being behind the bleachers during a football game. The taste…

Mmm.

I know it’s not respectable. I’m not sure what it says about me that in a moment of weakness this is what I turn to. I thought I had broken the habit.

You know what my addiction is, don’t you?

.

.

.

Friday night, for the first time in years, I enjoyed the cheap, canned cheese taste of a Classic Nacho and a greasy Crunchy Taco (and later, a refrigerated one, as I was taught) from Taco Mayo.

EDIT: Apparently, searching for the terms “closet taco” will land you here now. Mission accomplished.

If this lady can do one thing, it’s roast a chicken. A few years ago I decided to try out a recipe from Real Simple on Aaryn, on one of our Gilmore Girls nights. The recipe was for a roasted bird with lemon, honey, and olives (never mind that the skin was a little burned) and I was sold. It was easy (as long as you thawed the thing through before throwing it in…noted) and so downright tasty. The ease of a quick prep job beforehand and throwing it in the oven without much more of a thought is something I can really get behind.

Not long after that, I was in our local supermarket when they announced a markdown on their rotisserie chickens. The yummy birds were marked down from what was usually between $7 and $14 (depending on size) to $1.50. I had been in the store to get some chicken and other ingredients for soup anyway, so the markdown on the chicken in the deli was just one less step for me once I got home. And so I began my delicious foray into the world of chicken soup and all its variations.

However, chicken is chicken and it can get old. My husband likes to find something he enjoys and stick with it, so I don’t want to mess with things too much, but I would really like to try some new chicken recipes. Preferably things that focus on the bird itself and not casseroles, etc.

What is your favorite roasted chicken recipe? Do you like to stuff it with something? Have a rub that makes it magical? Is there something you anoint yours with halfway through that sends it over the edge? Do tell!

On with the show…

• Allow me to complain for a moment without giving you all the satisfaction of a related link. Ahem. Why can’t I escape The Besters? And The Worsters? And the “How Did You Pay For That?!”…-ers? It seems that whatever place I am in life there is always someone around me like this. Have something wonderful happen? Don’t worry, something better happened to them. Once. It doesn’t matter when or if it’s relevent, it happened. Tragedy strike? Don’t look to them for sympathy. They lost their mom and their best dog on the same day. And heaven forbid you show them vacation photos. Sheesh. “Well, I don’t ever have the time to go somewhere that far away.” or “Who did you get to help pay for that?” or maybe they’ll tell you about that one vacation 10 years ago that was easily triple the price of whatever you did.*tap*

  *taptaptap*

  Anyone listening? You ready?

  Get some self-esteem. It is a sad, sad situation if you have to belittle others at every turn to make yourself feel better. I’m sorry for whatever happened in your past to make you behave in such a way now. But you need to grow up and stop.

  Good grief.

• Oh, hi
• Coffee makes you dance around like a goat! (educational AND fun!)
• The Spohrs have their beautiful Annie. Blessings on you all.
• smitten kitchen has this divine sounding Mixed Citrus Salad w/ Feta & Mint. Yum.
• As you may know, about 6 months ago I stumbled upon the blog of my cousin, Misti. Through her I’ve learned of my cousin, her brother, Curtis, his wife Stephanie, and their little girl, Zoe. Not long ago Curtis announced that they were expecting on his blog. Last week, the baby was delivered at 26 weeks. This little girl and her family have all been in my prayers and I hope they’ll be in yours, too. Welcome to the world, Miss Ashleigh.
• Food Network Humor is my new favorite blog. Oh my. And this — Amazon Product Recommendations: Ina Garten Edition

Have a great week, y’all!

Here we go, our day driving around the island:

These bikers stopped in front of us to wait out the fog.

These folks were drying their Canadian flag in their backyard.

You see that fog? It’s creepin’ on in.

We were kinda up in a lot of people’s driveways. You never knew where you were going on this map.

I took a sea shell from this beach. Shh.

Anne fans, recognize this hotel?

Think back to Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel (or Anne of Avonlea, as it was marketed in the States)…

Certainly not a canonical scene from the books, but beautiful nonetheless.

After driving past Dalvay-by-the-Sea, we went on to Charlottetown to have dinner. I can’t remember the name of the place, but it was a little pub that we stopped by. There were hardly any people there (or anywhere) and I was still having some trouble figuring out the schedule these people live on. This establishment at least had a few people sitting outside enjoying their dinners though. It looked promising. Being that we weren’t locals and it felt ridiculously cold to us outside, we chose to dine indoors.

Kevin started with a crabcake.

And I went with the sashimi, which was pretty, but a mistake. Way, way too warm.

Now, for some reason I didn’t end up with pictures of our dinner, but I had this ENORMOUS bowl of mussels in a tomatoey brine and Kevin had…a burger.

Back to the resort we went for our last night in that huge room, with the daunting drive ahead of us the following day. Blech.

And since you made it all the way to the end, here’s a fun surprise: