Truth is that I need to coffee more on Monday than Sunday, anyway. This weekend (ever since I bought that box of candy canes) I’ve been enjoying peppermint mochas. Mmm.

• Mountain Rose Herbs lists “50 Ways You Can Spice Up Your Life” – some great tips here on herbal baths, remedies, tea, etc.
• They also have a number of recipes for relaxing winter baths. I must try these.
• Been reading my series of posts covering our honeymoon? No? Get caught up: Day 2 – Pt. 1, Day 2 – Pt. 2, Day 3, Day 4 – Pt. 1, and Day 4 – Pt. 2.
• Christopher Walken covers Lady GaGa – Oh, the hilarity.
• This is an instance where a Google ad really worked. All I’m going to say is BACONNAISE.
• Another group of Compassion bloggers are headed to El Salvador. Shannon reminds us to keep them in our prayers.
• Ronnica is in Turkey! Go check out her blog as she posts about her experiences there. Personally, I’m hoping for more food photos.

Short week at work, but likely a busy one with all we have going on. Best thing? The week ends with my birthday. I should probably come up with a list of things that I’d like to have. One of our good friends (the minister who married us) has a running list that he updates. And it’s LONG. Perhaps I should do that?

I know. You’ve been longing for one of these. Here goes.

• First off, question. Does anyone have a good pizza dough recipe to share? I’m trying to find one that my husband will like. I’ve been using plain old Pillsbury and I’ll be honest: it’s not the best. His issue is with the texture. Mine is with the sweetness. I want something that will provide a thin crust, crispy all over. Nothing doughy.
• Batman. Vanishing.
• This is one of my pet peeves as well. I sometimes wish that people who ask these kinds of questions could understand what it’s like to suffer from chronic health issues that don’t always manifest themselves in a way that is visible to the general public. I mean, I could make that happen, but seriously you do not want that. For the record, I would love to be able to participate in things every time a person asks me to. The issues I have suffered from are one of the reasons that I rarely, if ever, volunteer my time or spread myself too thin with obligations. You get really tired of disappointing people after a while.
• The aforementioned is another reason that I hate it when people flake out on plans with no reason.
• Great post from The Happy Housewife on surviving a deployment when you have small children. I have a few friends in this boat and I thought they might find the article helpful.
• While you’re over at The Happy Housewife, take a look at her recipe for Salmon Turnovers. I can’t wait to try these!
• This week I missed meeting The Pioneer Woman at her book signing in Oklahoma City. *cry* But watching this video made me feel a little bit better.
• A little shoutout to Miss Melissa and all the other NaBloPoMo participants joining in this year! I think this is my second year? Can’t remember. I’ll check my archives. Maybe I should have done that before writing this bullet point and floundering around like an imbecile. But that’s why you love me, right?

Wedding planning truths continued…

4. You will forget things. Like the fact that a human being needs to consume a certain amount of water to not go crazy or die. So, if you’d like to stay sane and out of urgent care in the middle of a workday where a doctor asks you if you’ve been drinking enough water and you can’t recall the last full glass you’ve had, drink some water. Eight glasses per day, ladies. You’ll thank me.

I almost apologize (or do I go ahead and do it?) every time I take a break here. Maybe it would be different if they were planned absences. But I watch my StatCounter hover around the same number every day, no matter if I’m posting or not, and I feel bad for not providing you all with something to read. For that, I apologize. For the rest, well, let me give you a run down of what’s been going on.

Soundtrack for today’s post

One week (the week and a half before Valentine’s Day) I had the flu, the next week I had an unbearable amount of stressful drama, and this past week, I broke. Without sharing too many details (the truth is that I don’t mind sharing with about 99.77365% of you, but there is one person I am in contact with on a day-to-day basis that I don’t want to share most of this with…maybe I’ll make a password protected post in the future) I will tell you that last week a coworker had to rush me to an urgent med center because I had gone numb in my hands and face, was faint, and had difficulty breathing. I had rushes of warmth all over my face and I sat alone at my desk at work thinking I was dying. As a last effort (I thought) to save my life (or possibly just NOT die at the front desk), I called my boss and everything after that is pretty blurry. I was taken to the urgent med center and they immediately checked the level of oxygen in my blood. They handed me forms to fill out (seriously? I cannot believe that they did this. The girl at the front desk clearly did not realize the severity of the situation. And I told her that). I couldn’t remember my phone number, work address, or my parents’ area code.

The whole reason I was so concerned was because I had started birth control about 3 weeks before and the things that I was experiencing were all things that it said to seek a physician’s care for immediately because of the risk of a blood clot. I was freaking out because I thought it was a stroke or a heart attack. I have never been so frightened in my life. They ran an EKG and did some chest x-rays to make sure that it wasn’t a blood clot (because it was a possibility) and there weren’t any problems there.

Again, I’m not going to say exactly what it was. I’m pretty sure most people can figure it out. If you can’t, email me. I’ll talk to you about it. The reason I’m being so cryptic is because there are people that I don’t want advice from. They aren’t qualified to give it. I am working on getting things under control, relaxing, and focusing on what I can do today and not the piles of things that have to be finished in the next 96 days.

I am okay, my life is good, and things are getting better. Thank you for your concern.

It’s been a weird, rough past week and a half. First I was sick and while I was sick, I realized that I’d had enough. Some people know what happened. If you don’t, I’ll be glad to tell you in an email, I’m just not interested in airing any dirty laundry online.

This morning I wrote something for my SparkPeople blog to sorta motivate myself and help me to remember in the future why I did what I did. I’m pretty bad about forgetting my reasons behind serious action and this is something I cannot afford to forget.

Your mind and spirit are just as important to be nourished as your body. I know that I can lose sight of that pretty often. This is a note so that I will remember, and maybe encourage other people, to take whatever steps are necessary to remove the poison from your life. I firmly believe in trying to remain strong and a good example to those around you, but there comes a time when you have to choose to remove yourself from the situation. If you are not being built up, you’re being dragged down.

When we’re talking about our bodies we decrease the bad intake and increase the good output. It’s the same with our mind and spirit. I am choosing to refuse the insensitive, uneducated, and unknowledgeable criticism aimed at myself and my life. It is tearing down my mind, bringing down my spirit, and taking me to the same level as the people doing this.

Instead I am embracing the things that matter:
The love of my Lord, Jesus Christ
My loving fiance
My devoted family
Friends that love and support me

I am turning away from and refusing to take the following:
Unfounded criticism, intended to hurt and bring chaos
CHAOS, encouraged by those whose lives center around it and therefore believe other’s lives must as well
Hatefulness
Insanity, I will not take diagnosis from people who need to be diagnosed themselves
Divisive speech
Direction from someone who is not my superior
Uneducated advice

And I will no longer listen to the voice of inexperience. I am committing today to continue working towards my goals with my success in mind. Looking toward the future and refusing to let anyone else drag me down. I will embrace my success, not be ashamed of it, and go forward.

Originally posted on July 16, 2008.

First of all, for future reference, be prepared to take off all your clothes (except panties) when you visit [an endocrinologist]. I had not been informed and consequently had hairy legs. Oh well. Plus, it was a male doctor who was seeing me naked and that was unexpected as well. It’s not like it killed me, but I would have preferred a female doctor had I known that was going to happen.

…

I am to a point where I can say to the world, “This is how much I weigh.” I am a woman and I’m telling you my weight. This is a breakthrough. Why? Because I’ve felt fat since I was 6-years-old. First, I’ll tell you where I started. My highest weight on SparkPeople.com is listed as 168 lbs. That’s right folks. However, I distinctly remember reaching 171, being too depressed to enter it, pouring a jar of hot fudge on some Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream, and dying a slow, fudgey death.

Read more…

It’s a miracle I lasted this long. I came down with a cold on Saturday evening and am now suffering something fierce. Instead of hanging out with my fiancé tonight like I would prefer, I’ll be soaking in a Burt’s Bees milk bath, watching Arthur from the tub, drinking some hot hot tea, disinfecting my nesting areas around the house, and washing the piles of laundry I’ve been putting off. And maybe polishing the day off with the (literal) bloody mess that is Breaking Dawn.

In case you were wondering, it’s now 198 days until we get married–just a little over 6 months.

The engagement pictures are done and I should have some to show you in the next few days.

My dress is in and locked up in a boutique in OKC (I just love the thought that someone hand sewed this for me in Barcelona. I want to go to Barcelona).

And on a somewhat unrelated note (but sorta related because it’s going to make me a more pleasant person to be around), my hormone/herb cream is going to be here today and THAT is a reason to be happy, for sure.

I find these things altogether thrilling. What’s thrilling you today?

I’m not 24, not until this afternoon, but today is my birthday.

Maybe I will try to do this every year. Maybe not. I tend to forget things. Sometimes I’ll put reminders in iCal and then when the reminder pops up it’s usually two or three words that make up a really cryptic message that I can’t decipher. Need to work on that one.

Here’s my list of 23 Things That Happened in My 23rd Year. I tried to hit most of the high points.

1. Got engaged. That’s a big one. Kevin and I had been dating just one year, 6 months, and 19 days when he proposed to me on June 28, 2008.
2. Graduated from the University of Oklahoma with a Bachelor of Arts in English – Writing. And I will be sitting behind a desk for the rest of my days.
3. Kevin’s parents met my parents. It wasn’t as scary or uncomfortable as I thought it might be. I don’t know why I was worried, really. It’s not like either side has a rhinoceros horn growing out of their forehead or a propensity for violence.
4. My love for politics was reignited.
5. Started writing for The Lost Ogle.
6. Quit writing for The Lost Ogle.
7. Got a temp job working for a company in OKC. Met some of the greatest people there.
8. Started blogging with aforementioned great people at Kick the Anthill.
9. Got a new job closer to home. Still working there.
10. Decided to obtain my teaching certificate. I’m still working on that one, but the decision was a really big deal. Kevin is going to be a teacher and it is a really big deal to me that we get to have vacations that we can spend together. My current situation does not allow for this.
11. Got those stinking wisdom teeth removed, thank You, Lord!
12. Found out what the issue was with my weight gain and lethargy.
13. Got that issue under control and lost 27 lbs!
14. Stood by one of my best friends as she got married.
15. Stood by another one of my best friends when she did the same.
16. Stood…just kidding. Passed Spanish 2223, woohoo!
17. Was the victim of multiple instances of vandalism. (Including one yesterday. Umm…do you think you folks might be able to take a break for my birthday?)
18. Unfortunately had to deal with friends choosing their politics over personal relationships, burning bridges, blocking me on Myspace, letting me down, and (at this point) appearing to step out of my life completely. Let me reiterate that this was one of my very best friends. I am numb.
19. Met Jolene (who admins GodlyGals with me) and had a wonderful weekend getting to know (in person) someone who has become a very dear friend to me. If I hadn’t thought it would be a tremendous burden on someone who lives thousands of miles away, I would have asked her to be a bridesmaid in a heartbeat.
20. Got to know more wonderful sisters at GodlyGals, dealt with our usual share of drama, and started a podcast for the ministry.
21. Became a member of a church.
22. Experienced my first Crumpler Christmas in Pennsylvania, then visited North Carolina and met some of Kevin’s extended family.
23. Became mildly e-famous for a few months after posting something about Sarah Palin and having people point out my resemblance to the governor.

There you go. My twenty-three things. A list of things I am thankful for might have been a little bit more appropriate if I’m going to be trying to make this list longer every year. Well, who knows what I’ll do tomorrow.

This whole Google Flu Trends thing got me thinking.

Sometimes I feel a little more canine than human. Well, I guess it’s not necessarily that I feel more like another species, but it behave a little more like one whenever I am ill. How, you ask? Allow me to explain.

When I first started dating Kevin there was something that I had to make clear from the start. When I am sick I want to be alone. Much like a dog (or a cow or some kind of herd animal) I pull away from the crowd whenever I am feeling ill. Not sure if it’s nature’s way of keeping me from passing things on to others or if it’s the way that I am wired. It has nothing to do with vanity, as he saw me in PJ pants and a hoodie before we were even dating (remember that time you came over after I had put up my Christmas tree and we sat on opposite ends of the couch and talked for like 2 hours?). And when I am sick I have no problem going to Wal-mart or a drug store to pick up necessities (operative word) with my hair in a bun, wearing sweatpants and an XXL shirt I received for free my freshman year of college when I signed up for a credit card (that was never used, mind you). Or even in a jacket covered in muddy dog prints that I didn’t realize was covered in muddy dog prints until I was standing behind some blond co-eds in a self-checkout line who were dressed to the nines for their 1:30 pm class. So you see, vanity is not the issue. It could be more that sheer apathy is the problem, but I’ll move on.

In times of sickness, all I want to do is curl up on my couch or bed and be left alone to lick my wounds. Not literally, because that’s disgusting, but you understand what I’m saying. I need the quiet, the privacy, the lack of responsibility, and the rest that comes with being left on my own. This may come across sounding unappreciative of people who want to be helpful whenever someone is sick. I know, because I am one of those people (unless you have something really gross and “catchin’”—then I’ll see you around) who wants to make sure you have enough food, medicine, pillows, and cheesy movies to get you through your time of trouble. And I guess this makes me some sort of hypocrite. I do appreciate when someone wants to help, but I cannot explain to you how much better I feel being alone. Solitude is what I use to recharge. Even when someone asks me to describe my perfect weekend or something, my ideal always involves a bath, a book, and some cooking*—not because I don’t love other people (I do!), it’s just that when it comes to recuperating, that is The Ultimate.

What is your preferred mode of recovery when you’re sick?

*Though I feel pretty equally enthused about entertaining a small number of close friends in my home.