• I woke up this morning with my forehead itching. Really, really bad. Then I run my fingers through my hair and ICK. Don’t worry. I don’t have headlice. But it felt like I didn’t wash any of the shampoo out of my hair last night in the shower. Umm…I can’t really remember. That would be weird for me. So first thing this morning I washed my hair. Now I’m sitting here with a towel on my head and a cup of hot chocolate. And no more greasy limp hair.
• Sorry if I grossed you out. It’s pretty nasty.
• Yesterday, my mom had to endure a drama-filled trip to Wal-Mart and a crazy employee who seems to have some issues. I know. I ended up on the phone with this lunatic. This requires a lengthy blog post. That will be up later today.
• Regarding the Olympics: I haven’t met many people that are upset about Johnny Weir (confession: I always spell his name “Weird” first and then have to backspace) not scoring higher, but there are a few. And what I think is the dude needs to decide what his goals are. I’m sure he loves skating, but reality TV and fashion seem to be right up there as well. I really hope that he does retire before the next Olympics. His attitude annoys me.
• Also annoying: Evgeni Plushenko. Dude, I’ve loved you since your halfway naughty performance of one of my favorite songs. But now? Now I don’t feel like I can use that video to rickroll people anymore. I’ve got news for you — what’s going on in your brain does not matter. Reality matters. You start making comments like that and people start questioning how much of a hold you’ve got on the world around you (can’t find the link, but what he said was, “In my brain, I actually won.”). I mean, shoot. When I was 13, in my mind, I was a viable candidate to be the bride of Prince William and go on to be queen. I think we all know what a hit I would have been. Seriously, that sounds like the plot of a bad movie. Oh wait. It was.
• Oh, we have a chance of flurries today? BIG SURPRISE.
• Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday. And it’s his last one in his 20s. Sigh.
• I always thought I’d end up with an older man.
• We’re celebrating at Red Robin during the week and this weekend we’re taking my parents to The Melting Pot. Yum. I love birthday weeks.
• Tonight I will make a beautiful layer cake and display it on this lovely wedding gift from Jolene and her hubby:
  

Bet you thought I lost power yesterday when I stopped updating that blog post.

Wrong. I died of BOREDOM.

Snow is beautiful (it’s what we’re getting today) and it’s so much better than ice. But I am ready to throw in the towel on this winter business. I love cold weather. I love rain and thunderstorms. We’ve never reached a point where we had so much rain in Oklahoma that I have tired of it. I think I’d enjoy Seattle or London a lot.

This winter weather though? I’m tired of it. The whole thing might be different if I lived in a state that was equipped to take care of this kind of thing without any major hiccups. But the snow and ice are so rare that it doesn’t get handled very well. I know that the various groups in charge of taking care of things are working their hardest, but man oh man. I’m done. No chains to put on my tires. No back up source of heat if the power goes out. No place to get water if there’s a problem with a line (like there was this morning). First world problems, I know.

Unfortunately, this afternoon I made a deal with my husband that if he would watch William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet, I would watch Dune. I should have realized whenever he laughed maniacally and said, “Yeah, I’ll definitely watch Romeo + Juliet if you’re going to watch Dune.”

We’re only 20 minutes in and the faint of heart need to be warned. (If any of my uber-squeamish cousins are reading this, stop NOW.) There is an alien in this movie whose mouth was clearly modeled after a cow’s girlie bits.

I’m going to collect quotable lines from this movie for your entertainment (and in italics, things that they should have said):

• “The itching becomes burning.”
• “There is a place terrifying to us…to women.”
• “Stains become a warning.”
• What up. I’m Sting. Look at me rockin’ this red hair and leather.
  
• “You are so beautiful, my baron. Your skin, love to me. Your diseases lovingly cared for, for all eternity.”
• Allow me to unplug your heart, bleed yourself all over me, and sexually assault you.
• Baby blue, was the color of her eyes…
  
  Baby Blue – George Strait
  
• “Spice. Pure, unrefined spice.”
• “I want to spit once on your head. Just some spittle in your face.”
• Let me now use a type of sign language that looks like a poor attempt at vogue-ing.
• “It’s yours to squeeze, as I promised! Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeeeeze!”
• They’ve just told a man he must milk a cat every day for the rest of his life if he wants to live. I’m so confused.
• Let us fight them with our pelvic thrusts!

And that, friends, is pretty much how today has been.

Yanking this from Misti and making my list before I forget anymore of what’s happened to me in the past ten years. Oh, and before I forget, for all you sticklers out there I realize that the decade isn’t over until the end of this year. The sticklers. You never cease to amaze me.

1999

• Maybe kinda sorta had a boyfriend at the beginning of this year. But it didn’t amount to anything, other than both he and his mother claiming to this day that I was his first girlfriend, so I don’t think it counts.
• Lots of personal tragedy this year. Lost a number of people. Very depressing.
• I turned 15 this year.
• Got really active in online forums, creating my own websites (I’d been doing so since 1997), and general internet culture. The very beginning of me being self-taught at all this stuff.

2000

• I got my first Livejournal this year and starting writing online more regularly than before. I’d had journals that I kept online, but this was the first one that I stuck to.
• Almost died of pneumonia. Lost 20 lbs in two weeks and looked like a stick figure. I missed 2 weeks of school and came back with 2 weeks left. I had A’s in all but one class and most of my teachers didn’t make me make up the work.
• Turned 16. Spent my birthday with Nannie (great-grandmother), Great Aunt Geraldine, her daughter Susan, and Susan’s twins, Brooklyn & Britton. We went to a soda shop and they played “Sixteen Candles” on the jukebox for me and I had a banana split. One of the girls said something I’ll never forget (they had to have been about 5 or 6 at the time, now they’re in high school): “We’we like twiplets, only youw biggew.” Ladies, if you’re reading this, I hope it doesn’t embarrass you! It was the cutest thing ever.
• Crazy ice storm at the end of the year that left us stuck in Nannie’s house for a week without running water and barely any electricity.
• Close friend’s family member committed suicide. Stricken with grief for them is the only way to describe that.

2001

• One of my paternal great-grandmothers died (not the one from the ice storm) and I sat behind Heather at the funeral. We didn’t speak, but I knew who she was and remembered her from vacation Bible school when we were 4.
• The summer that I discovered eyeliner.
• Started my junior year of high school. Everything was different. I think because of aforementioned eyeliner.
• Really began thinking about where I was going to go to college. I had it narrowed down to a handful and OU was not one of them.
• Finally got my driver’s license in August (before I turned 17 in November; I had been eligible for almost a year) when Mom dragged me to the DMV. Failed the first time in July because the instructor said I ran a stop sign. Apparently “running” a stop sign is sitting there anything less than 8 seconds, cause…dude. I stopped.
• Moved into my great-grandmother’s house after she moved to the nursing home. It was just next door, but over twice the size of the house I’d grown up in. Also, made me realize just how much I hate moving.
• Dad had the end of his right index finger pinched off right before the move by a spring in the garage door. Scary scary.

2002

• Junior prom. Good. Grief. Shy little wallflower girl (as I was and still can be) had five guys ask her to prom. Because I thought it was the only fair thing to do (and HELLO! I didn’t know what to do) I went with the first one that asked. I should have gone with the one who was my closest friend. It’s actually a regret of mine and I don’t have many.
• All the drama that accompanied said Junior Prom.
• Got involved with the color guard that spring to prepare for the fall.
• Spent a week during the summer representing my town at Oklahoma Girls State. I learned so much about myself. I opened up, became more confident, and really began to understand where I stood politically.
• Started my senior year. Dad suggests that I apply at OU. I do. And end up saying, “What the hey, I’ll try it out for my first couple of years.” Still do not know exactly how I ended up going there. My plan was to attend Chatham in Pennsylvania.
• Talk of GodlyGals started in 2002.

2003

• Went to senior prom alone — by choice. Wasn’t going through the previous year’s fiasco again.
• Graduated from high school.
• Saw my best friend from high school for the last time. (Well, there was once more but I don’t count it since it was in passing and unplanned.)
• GodlyGals started out as a community on Livejournal on June 12, 2003.
• Went on a trip driving to the east coast with my grandparents. Saw so many things and had the time of my life with them, only to be almost killed by a semi-truck on I-40 west of Nashville while driving home. God was with us that day.
• We were rushing home from that trip because my youngest cousin had been placed in Children’s Hospital in OKC because she was extremely ill and they weren’t really sure if she was going to make it. She is alive today. Diagnosis: juvenile diabetes.
• My parents moved me into Adams Tower, McCasland 701 in late August. They left and I cried. How on earth did I ever think I would make it in Pennsylvania?
• Met Ronnica shortly thereafter. She was discipling my roommate and cousin, Heather.
• Met Kevin for the first time downstairs outside of Burger King. It pretty much meant nothing to either of us.
• Had my most successful semester at college (up until my last one, which I finished with a 4.0). Very sad considering I had two D’s. I blame it on the fact that I had never studied before in my life for anything. Ever. Kids, pick up some study skills before college.
• Was majoring in Elementary Education.
• Saw John Mayer on my 19th birthday with two of my closest friends (Heather and Delisa)…and Colt

2004

• We started picking up “Crumpy’s Printer” on Heather’s wireless connections on her computer. I asked if “Crumpy” was his real name. Nope. Kevin Crumpler.
• Finished the school year not so well.
• Spent the summer at home laying out in the sun and reading for my summer classes.
• Started the school year in a pink & green room that was the delight of our hall. Not. Found out it was not cool to be an unpledged sophomore on a predominately sorority hall at the University of Oklahoma.
• Became friends with Aaryn.
• Close friends lost their dad. Spent a long evening sitting on the floor of our (private) bathroom while I was on the phone with them. Suicide, depression, and grief multiplied by 2 are just not pretty things.
• Disaster struck and I started dating The Biggest Jerk I’ve Ever Met.
• Came down with a stomach virus that took me out for a week starting on Christmas Day.

2005

• That awful “relationship” escalated into worse territory and it took me forever to get over it. Could not understand how someone could treat another person that way.
• Had to change my phone number (for another reason).
• Started looking for a house with Mom and Dad.
• Spent the end of May moving into the house I live in now. Painting, decorating, and all that fun stuff.
• Took a summer course at OU and sat next to Rhett Bomar. I didn’t know who he was until the class was over. Ha.
• Kyle started school at OU and moved into the house with me.
• Sang a few solos. In front of people.
• Started ballroom dancing.

2006

• Sat next to Kevin at Aaryn’s 21st birthday party and we talked the whole evening.
• Went on a few dates with another guy that spring.
• Got my puppy, Lulu in April.
• Kyle moved back home to work for the summer.
• Lived alone this school year.
• Began working at the day school.
• Got ridiculously ill for about 4 months from working with babies and toddlers.
• Kevin started talking to me and running into me at the BSU.
• Kevin asked me out on November 27.
• We went on our first date on December 9, 2006.

2007

• Made things official with Kevin on January 5, 2007
• Spring semester of 2007 was my English Capstone, plus a writing class, PLUS 2 other English courses. Which basically meant the first few months of our relationship I was doing homework. And little else. I think my friends though I was ditching them for a boy, when in reality I was ditching everyone because of school.
• Did really well on my final project and was officially done with the English portion of my degree.
• Flew on a plane for the first time.
• Met Kevin’s parents in Pennsylvania that May.
• In an interesting turn of events (have I ever explained this?), Kevin told me he loved me.
• Oh, and I loved him back
• Helped Heather here and there where she needed it for her wedding.
• Heather moved in with me for the summer and fall.
• Life was spent working and going to pilates class. That’s all. It was fabulous. (We should do that again, Heather)
• Kevin spent Christmas with my family and then we flew to PA to spend it with his parents, Brian (his brother), and Brian’s new girlfriend, Beth.
• Got back in time for Heather’s bachelorette party.

2008

• Heather and Colt got married!
• I caught the bouquet!
• Started the last class I needed to graduate. Spanish 4. Gah.
• Lulu had started acting very strangely a few months before, but finally snapped at the end of January. I lost her in the middle of the night and was really distraught. It took a long time for me to realize that it wasn’t my fault.
• Kevin and I went out for Valentine’s Day and I cleverly suggested that we waste time before dinner walking around the mall (this was a ruse to look at rings). Found ring and little did I know that Kevin drove back the next day in an ice and snow storm to buy it.
• Got hired at EGM as their temp receptionist and met some of the best people I know. That job was a huge blessing.
• Started looking into the Alternative Certification Program for teaching in Oklahoma. Took my first test.
• Kevin started working during the week in Tulsa. Boooo.
• Started the GodlyGals Podcast with Jolene.
• After my time was up there I got hired at Fowler Productions, Inc. Worked as their receptionist for the next year and made some wonderful friends. I miss those folks.
• One week after I started working at Fowler, Kevin took me to see Phantom of the Opera in Tulsa and proposed to me later that evening. June 28, 2008.
• Then began The Great Wedding Planning Saga. Literally chunks of my life are missing. I have little recollection of this period of time for other, more stressful reasons.
• Took our engagement photos.
• Applied for the rest of my teaching tests.
• Spent Christmas without Kevin. I couldn’t get off work and he went back to North Carolina to celebrate with family. It was depressing.

2009

• Still planning the wedding…
• Dress fittings, showers, making my invitations…
• Fallout with a coworker.
• Panic attack at the end of February. Everything had been closing in and I just could not take it anymore. Funny thing is that it had very little to do with the planning of the wedding. It was all the other stuff that was going on.
• More wedding showers, fun times with girlie friends, bridal portraits…
• Took the last of my teaching tests (and passed!) exactly one week before the wedding.
• Our wedding was June 6, 2009, with all the sparkle and splendor I’d imagined.
• Honeymoon in Maine and Prince Edward Island.
• Got back with one day left before returning to work. Started looking for jobs in schools as soon as we returned.
• Flew to Baltimore and drove to Virginia for Brian and Beth’s wedding on July 4.
• Interviewed for a high school English teaching position. That was a total shock.
• Didn’t get that job, but got hired on at another school. As soon as I got the call I put in my notice because I had to report to work in less than a week. I know. I felt awful.
• Got acquainted with things at the new job and really started enjoying the new work I was doing. Something different every day.
• August was a painful month and I kept it to myself far too long.
• Visited Branson with Heather and Colt and my family.
• Time really flew by during the school year.
• Thanksgiving and before you knew it The Christmas That Almost Never Was.

And here we are. Wooboy. Glad to be done with that.

I’ll admit it. I’m guilty of going to Google and trying to figure out what random symptoms may indicate is going on in my body. Searching for “symptoms of…” or some very specific keywords to help me figure out just what is wrong with me. Because there’s always something going on.

Did I mention that I have a little bit of hypochondria? Just a touch.

Well, the other day I clicked on over to Google to try and figure something out and, wonder of wonders, I typed this little phrase and before I knew it I had tons of autosuggestions spilling out from the fount that is the Google search box. It was unbelievable. Shocking. Hilarious.

And today I am going to share some of these gems with you.

The phrase is, “What does it mean when…” (there are variations, but we’ll get to those later)

What does it mean when you crave fish?
What does it mean when your eye twitches?
What does it mean when your poop is green?
What does it mean when you dream your teeth fall out?
What does it mean when your poop floats?
What does it mean when you dream about snakes?
What does it mean when your nose itches?
What does it mean when your poop is black? (Bad news, bucko. That, or you’ve taken Pepto Bismol.)

Now for the variations. “What does it mean IF…”

What does it mean if you are the stand on vessel in an overtaking situation? (???)
What does it mean if your second toe is bigger than your big toe?
What does it mean if your temperature is lower than normal?
What does it mean if your tongue is black?

The number of very serious situations that are represented here worry me a little. Some of these things you should really get yourself to a doctor for.

But above all, the one the bothers me the most, the one that makes me beat my head against my desk and weep for the future of my children and grandchildren who may grow up in a world where this is not respected, where this has been brushed aside as old-fashioned and unnecessary, where no one abides by this one thing that separates us from the animals, is this:

What does RSVP mean?

My goal was to have this last NaBloPoMo post not be about the fact that it was my last NaBloPoMo post. Alas.

This will be a post in bullet points.

• Thanksgiving with the family was nice. It’s so good to get to see family.
• ‘Tis the season for my skin to turn to scales. Yuck.
• The only Cyber Monday sale I was interested in was sold out when I woke up at 5am. Not worth it.
• Yet, I will make myself suffer later this week to have Sarah Palin sign my book. It will be interesting.
• I need to do a post about family. A few of them, really. Maybe a tell-all. I know that’s what you all want.
• Frasier is still one of my favorite shows.
• Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater is calling my name, as is my warm bed. I’m going to finish this book tonight, so, ta-ta!

Hope you all had a happy November (the best month). I am planning on blogging daily for as long as I can. This is something I really enjoy!

Sometime last year I promised myself that I was going to get back into reading again. Wedding planning is a black hole, a vortex that sucks out all your energy and all the room your brain has for fun things. And for me that was reading. Lately I have been back at it and one of the things that has helped my transition back into “Reader” has been PaperBackSwap.com. This place is a wonder. A miracle. And I’m so sad I wasn’t introduced to it until a few months ago. But I jumped right in and started posting and receiving books. Let me tell you what I’ve received so far.

• The Birth House by Ami McKay
• The River Wife by Jonis Agee
• The End of Alice by A.M. Homes
• Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan
• Country Matters: The Pleasures and Tribulations of Moving from a Big City to an Old Country Farmhouse by Michael Korda
• Sarum by Edward Rutherford
• The Forest by Edward Rutherford
• The Princes of Ireland: The Dublin Saga by Edward Rutherford
• A Lost Lady by Willa Cather
• The Song of the Lark by Willa Cather
• And Ladies of the Club by Helen Hooven Santmyer
• The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
• One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy

A few of those are epic sized. No idea when I will get to them, but I am slowly working my way through. During NaBloPoMo I will post my review of The End of Alice, but as we speak it is on its way to the next reader.

What are you reading lately? Are you a member of PaperBackSwap.com? If so, add me as a friend.

TOMORROW: Starting a series of posts covering our honeymoon trip up to Maine and Prince Edward Island, Canada. Long overdue, but I hope you’ll stop by. Lots and lots (and lots!) of pictures.

♥ tomatoes still warm from the sun
♥ puppies splashing in pool
♥ the gentle buzz in the air at night
♥ how the sky seems so much bigger
♥ snowcones
♥ the farmer’s market
♥ fried squash
♥ a haircut for summer
♥ iced water with lemon wedges
♥ trips to the lake
♥ campfires
♥ a long time ‘til sunset
♥ watering plants in the early morning hours

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged!
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Today I celebrated one year with the company I work for. I haven’t written much about my work here, for the most part because I’d like to not ever end up dooced. Even mentioning the name of the company is something that I’ve been careful about because I don’t want people to assume that my political or religious leanings are something shared by all of my coworkers or the management team. That, and I would never want them to judge my workplace and the people there based on what they see in me…but if they do, I hope that what they are witness to in my life is something that wouldn’t turn them off of doing business there.

It’s interesting work that I do. I’m a receptionist. And as I’ve mentioned before, a lot of us are some of the most abused, underestimated, overqualified, kind, and knowledgeable individuals you will ever encounter. With all of that said, there are plenty out there that give this particular career a very bad name. Just this past week someone reached my blog by searching for the terms “why are receptionists white bimbos?” We can see that you’ve made up your mind already, sir.

And yes I am making the assumption that it’s a man.

When I started out doing front desk work I assumed that it would be a part time, temporary gig that I would end up hating (like everything else I’d done…I need something different and exciting on a daily basis to keep my interest). Turns out that I was wrong. I have learned so much sitting in my big purple chair. Answering phones and working a front desk is not the most intellectually stimulating job that I’ve had, but it’s far more so than the day school was (there your brain slips into a “off air” mode and the only thing flowing through your brain during the few moments the din settles down is that awful buzz of white noise).

Things I Have Learned While Sitting in My Big Purple Chair AKA Stuff You Need to Know About Being a Good Receptionist

1. A smile goes a long way…even over the phone. People can tell when you are happy as well as when you are completely disinvested in whatever their issue is. Don’t be the latter.
2. Some of your callers will think you’re dumb. Change their mind. If you can’t, make them hold. (Kidding, you don’t want to get canned.)
3. It works out best for the both of you if you pretend you didn’t hear the caller burp right when you picked up the phone.
4. To maintain your self-respect, remember (every day)—you are not defined by your position in the company, the desk you sit at, the way people speak to you, or the numbers on your paycheck.
5. Be joyful in your work even if you do not find your joy there.
6. It is best to leave your work at work. Rejoice in the fact that you can with this type of job. (I make a point to not dwell on work matters after I’ve spilled whatever I need to from the day to Kevin’s poor ears.)
7. Dress (put on makeup, jewelry, etc.) like you are glad to be working there and like you’re paid well. Not like you need a job or want to lose the one you have. (I notice our searcher described receptionists only as “white bimbos.” To me that carries a lot of meaning with it. “Bimbos” infers stupidity, while “white” refers to ones skin and possibly hair. Let’s go with blond on that one, though they haven’t got me pegged on that bit either. Putting the two together creates this fantastically cliché stereotype—a cute little blond who, while she may not be going to law school anytime soon, is attractive.) Can we not dress nicely, wear some makeup, do something to our hair AND be intelligent, helpful, and kind? Seems like people view receptionists in one of two ways: blond, cheery, and clueless or brunette, mousy w/ glasses, and good at her job.

friends who always have a kind word
encouragement
blessed events
she says i began to sing long before i could talk
fresh paint
bright rooms
Saturday morning
cushy couches
pay day
babies
shiny phones

I find it helpful to focus on good things (how very Martha of me) whenever my days have a more plentiful supply of the bad.

♥ tea w/ a little milk and sugar
♥ sweet coworkers
♥ lunching with the ladies
♥ SILENCE.
♥ smiles on faces
♥ people who are happy
♥ cold, cold water
♥ knowing that i get to spend the evening with Kevin
♥ LOST on wednesdays
♥ mafia movies
♥ pie (even though it’s not really in my life anymore)
♥ birthdays!