Thirteen Fabulous Things about My Engagement

1. While I had suspected things, when it came down to it I was absolutely shocked.

2. That morning Kevin picked me up so that we could drive to Tulsa. When he was in the kitchen I heard the refrigerator door open and then he commented on something smelling bad. Immediately, my mind was elsewhere. He had mentioned before that whenever we got engaged he was going to celebrate with a Henry Weinhard’s Root Beer. It’s his favorite. I got him a six-pack (shipped from California) for Valentine’s Day. The thought came to mind that he might be putting a bottle in there and that was really the only glimmer of hope that I had throughout the day.

3. I later found out that about 3 weeks before, he had asked my dad’s permission at my cousin’s wedding. While I sat across the room talking to a relative, she noticed Dad talking to Kevin. She asked me what I thought was going on. Joking, I said, “Oh, he’s probably asking Dad’s permission to marry me.” Little did I know…

4. Back in February we finally got to go to the Melting Pot to celebrate Valentine’s Day and have our very belated anniversary dinner. An ice storm in December prevented us from going on the actual date of our first date, so we thought we’d try again. Before we went to dinner though, we went to a jewelry store. And there we found the most beautiful ring. I loved it, but wasn’t expecting anything, and we walked out of the store empty-handed. Of course, I never expected Kevin to purchase it while I was there with him. The lady said the sale ended that weekend and that the ring was the last they had, so I thought maybe he might go back the next day. Then the next day came. And so did another ice storm. Roads were bad, things were closed, and I just knew that Kevin wouldn’t be driving all the way up to north Oklahoma City to get that little thing. It made me sad, but I resigned myself to the fact that we would just have to look more. I never thought I’d get attached to a ring like that, but I loved it. Seriously, it was EXACTLY what I’d dreamed of…kinda all the rings I had ever been interested in put together.

5. He did drive up in all that mess to get the ring. Sigh. When I shared this detail with my PawPaw this weekend, he said, “Now that’s romance.” And it is, isn’t it?

6. Kevin got us tickets to see the touring production of Phantom of the Opera in Tulsa. He had them for a while, but the wheels didn’t start turning regarding a proposal until later, whenever we decided to get married a little sooner.

7. So we drove up to Tulsa. It was a really beautiful production and, oh yeah, we were on the SECOND ROW.

8. Gonna take this opportunity to tell you that Kevin was so…stinkin’…calm. All day. That threw me off more than anything. I don’t know why, but I expected that he would be a little bit nervous or something.

9. Then we drove home (to Norman, which is about 2 hours). I napped for a little while and Kevin said something like, “If I didn’t have to drive, I would just stare at you” because we’re disgusting like that.

10. We got to Norman. He’d been concerned about the weather (we were expecting rain) and had been checking with his roommate throughout the day so that we would know if we needed to change plans for our walk around campus at OU that we were going to take after dinner.

11. Dinner was very nice. We ate at Charleston’s (the place where we first really spoke while seated next to each other at a surprise party). When Kevin prayed over our meal he said something I thought was peculiar about “memorable moments.” But I just let it slide.

12. We drove to campus and parked at the Baptist Student Union. I pulled my hair back because it was starting to get really humid outside. Who am I kidding. It was miserable by the time we sat down. We wandered around the fountains and statues, just enjoying each other’s company. Finally, we made it to the South Oval, walked between a few buildings, and Kevin led me over to a bench so that I could open my present celebrating our 18th month together (June 9). He pulled a book out of the giftbag he was carrying and I recognized that it was a photobook from Shutterfly (I’d made him one a few months back). We sat there, going through the pictures that documented our entire relationship, from the beginning back in December of 2006 to the last part — me graduating from OU. On that page there was a paragraph that he asked me to read aloud.

The past 18 months have been extremely wonderful. You have been such a blessing in my life. It fills my heart with warmth as I look back on our relationship with these pictures. Your life is moving forward with amazing things coming your way. You have graduated from college, so what are you going to do now? We both know the answer to this question with you having a job. This brings to mind another question to ask…

And on the next page was a picture of the ring and “Elizabeth, will you marry me?” and then he was down on one knee with the ring, and I said yes. That moment was like a whirlwind, but it’s one I will never forget. Okay, now I think I might cry. I didn’t when it happened. But my goodness. Look what God has blessed me with.

13. I couldn’t have imagined it any better. Any sweeter, any more romantic, or perfect. I was always a “head in the clouds” kind of child, wrapped up in fairy tales, but a few awful run-ins with the opposite sex during the end of high school and my college years made me pretty bitter and cynical about relationships. A few years ago I would have been the first to tell you that it doesn’t matter who you marry, it’s all work, and no one is really good at heart. While that may be true, that doesn’t mean that God does not have a plan for you.

The response I see in people’s eyes when they hear the story of our relationship and the engagement makes everything clear: God has blessed me by putting this man in my life, this man who wants to commit to a lifetime of loving me, caring for me, our future children, our household, dealing with the problems that will inevitably come along, putting up with my stubborn moods, unintentionally sharp tongue (thank you, Johnson side of the family), and my puppy dog pouting that I will admit to using.

But in the past few days something has happened in my heart. I want to be the best wife I can be. I want to dive into the Word of God, continue growing that relationship, and in turn make my marriage one built on a firm foundation in Christ. I really can’t tell you how I feel. But I hope that I never forget the fact that this is a gift from God. If there was one thing I could tell Little Girl Me it would be that You can have your fairy tale.

Thirteen Song That Remind Me of My Childhood

1. Hangin’ In - Tanya Tucker

2. Gonna Take A Lot of River - The Oak Ridge Boys

3. God Blessed Texas - Little Texas — Warning: There are scantily clad women in this video. Forget Barbie, it’s the girls in bikinis in this video that messed up my body image…

4. Ships That Don’t Come In - Joe Diffie — I remember, back when we were after Saddam the first time, how people would call in and request this song for fallen soldiers. I still get goosebumps and want to cry just thinking about it. Seems appropriate again.

5. I’ll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men — Let me be upfront and tell you that this was my favorite song in 5th grade and I had no idea what it was about. And now it makes me laugh to think about how often I listened to this song.

6. Daddy’s Money - Ricochet

7. Remember Me This Way - Jordan Hill

8. Something to Talk About - Bonnie Raitt

9. Is There Life Out There - Reba McEntire

10. Boot Scootin’ Boogie - Brooks & Dunn

11. What’s It To You - Clay Walker

12. Breakout - Swing Out Sister

13. Come On Eileen - Dexy’s Midnight Runners

Thirteen Things About My Faith

1. I was raised in a Christian family and have a long line of very faithful women who came before me. I feel blessed to claim that and have felt the blessings of their faithfulness throughout my life. It seems like you go one way or another when you are raised in a Christian household (at least, in my experience) — you either embrace it or run in the opposite direction. I can’t say that many of my childhood friends that I know had the same upbringing as me are much different. They are now either passionate about their faith or have none at all. Which is preferable (Revelation 3:15-16).

2. I wasn’t always sure about my faith. My parents don’t know this, most of my friends and family don’t either. I’ve talked about it some on GodlyGals, but not very much.

There was a period in my life where things were, in my mind, very dark and I dwelled there for a number of years. Not that I could really identify with the Goth culture (I thought dressing in all black, white makeup, etc. was ridiculous — that opinion hasn’t really changed), but some of their interests were things that I was into. I read Sylvia Plath obsessively, wrote pages and pages of what can really only be described as “gothic” novels (Southern Gothic is more my style now), spent all extra time at school reading while the rest of my peers were socializing, never contemplated suicide but read literature and watched films that dealt heavily with the subject, and got sucked into a world of introspection and solitude. I still find my peace in the quiet by myself, but this was different.

I didn’t want to be different, but I felt the pain of it every day at school. A line from Sylvia Plath’s journals spoke to me back then, about an animal returning to the herd with the touch of human hands upon it. I felt like that animal. I felt that I knew something they did not, not in a pompous way — no. This was not a conscious decision on my part. I felt…just plain alone. I’d never had a boyfriend, my family and strangers told me I was pretty but I felt fat and nothing more, to this day…I don’t believe any of the people that I counted as my closest friends at the time have ever said words that were just meant to be “kind words” or a compliment. I’m not saying that to try and elicit them, what I’m trying to explain here is the effect that the absence of those sentiments had on my heart and mind. It was like all my friends back then did was take take take. By the end of high school I was fed up with that and ready for some giving (I did get that in college).

My interests were different from those of my peers, I preferred the company of older people, hated the hypocrisy and fickle ways of the people around me, hated the way that I was tormented (quietly and in such a way that it was permitted by the adults that should have stopped it) by young people in my church, and just the general behavior of people that I expected more of. I wanted truth, stability, and people that cared. Not some watered-down, “go to church on Sunday and live like the devil the rest of the week” version of “faith” in Jesus Christ (in quotations because it most certainly is not).

So I went looking. All of my searching, introspection, and diving into the darkness was at the very core a human being looking for the truth. Want to know the reason I know so much about so many cults and off-shoots of Christianity? Because I researched them with a fervor that would rival that of the most devout member of any of those groups. You name it and I looked into it as a possible new path to take. Did I ever truly step away from what I had grown up believing? No, I don’t believe so. But did I believe that those around me, those who were supposed to be my examples (my family is absolutely, well, most members, not included here) were practicing what they preached? Absolutely not.

3. Whoosh. That bit was long, huh? Thanks if you’re still here. This next part is the part where I stop caring what other people think. The part where God takes me in His hands and says, “You are Mine and I have a plan for you.”

I never saw myself as a leader. I fancied myself a princess at certain points of my life, as the first female president when I was in 3rd grade, but not much else. Wallflower to the core, my life was had become about drawing as little attention to myself as possible.But God has a funny way of working things out the way He wants. I had been going to a high school girl’s retreat with my church for the past few years (I was 18 or so at this point) and each year had come away feeling a little stronger, a little more encouraged in my faith (more on this later). But this was my senior year of high school. The end. I had started the year on a new foot. A new woman, in my own mind (the change had really happened the spring semester of my junior year), and I think the changes going on in my life really showed it. I still didn’t have the support system I needed, but things were better. I was happy and thriving. And the best thing of all? I only answered to God now. What a liberating idea — that the unfounded criticism based on worldly “values” you receive from people around you is worthless.

4. The girl’s retreat. That was a turning point, though I didn’t realize it at the time. However you feel about prophecy, I’m just going to lay it out there. In the middle of something that wasn’t some knock-down, drag-out, Pentecostal worship service (something that wasn’t foreign to me), the main speaker at the retreat walked quietly off the stage (she wasn’t speaking at the time), walked straight back to where I stood, embraced me, and began to weep. Then she spoke quietly, “God has been speaking to me about you. Follow where He is leading you. He is preparing you right now, to raise you up as a leader among women.” She hugged me a little longer and then returned to the stage.

I was a little taken aback. Shocked? Not quite. The reason for that was because this wasn’t the first time I’d had this said to me. The first time was in 8th or 9th grade, in the midst of my “dark age.” In the following weeks I had two women at church who were not connected approach me with the same thing. As we are told in scripture, I tested everything, waited it out a while, and everything really came together (1 Thessalonians 5:21; Acts 17:11) — which you’ll see later.

5. I attend the church I do, not because of the denomination (it’s not the one I was raised in), but because they teach the Bible. Pure and simple.

6. It’s Baptist, in case you were wondering.

7. I was raised in a non-denominational church that used Assembly of God literature.

8. My parents now attend an Assembly of God church and that is where my family has been for the past…ten years. Wow. That is hard to believe. I never became a member and will not because I do not agree with all of their doctrine. It’s something that I choose (on good days) not to bring up with my family. Sometimes I worry that if I ever do dive into it, try to show them scripture, etc. that they will doubt my faith and I’ll be prodded to go down front during the altar call.

9. On June 12, 2003, GodlyGals was born. I’d become pen pals with a girl named Alisha through Brio Magazine. For a while I had felt God leading me to start some kind of community for young women online and I just hadn’t seen anything around that vaguely resembled what I had in mind. Alisha and I talked about it for a while…I want to say maybe a year, so the talk about GodlyGals started in 2002 and came into fruition in 2003 when we started the community on Livejournal. About a year later, we started the boards, which later died down, only to come back in March of 2006. They have been going strong ever since. It has grown into a thriving community of over 500 women.

10. Random: Growing up I was very prejudiced against the two denominations that divided my hometown. One did everything they told me not to and then told me I was going to hell. The other accused me of going to a “snake church.” It took going to college and getting to know sincere members of the first denomination to get rid of all prejudices.

11. Being in a position of leadership in a ministry has taught me a lot of things. 1) You can’t be everyone’s friend. Being kind to everyone is a must, but there times when you must simply put your foot down and lead. Kinda makes me feel like I understand what the pastor is feeling when 15 families invite him to lunch on Sunday and he knows he can’t just pick one. 2) Sadly, not everyone who shows interest in your ministry and becomes involved has the best interests of the ministry at heart. While they deserve to be treated as human beings…as someone once told me, “If someone walked into your house and pooped on the floor, you’d be expected to throw them out.” Let’s extend this metaphor. I’ve had a few people come into my house and poop on my floor during the middle of a happy, fun party with lots of guests. That part of being a leader makes me miserable. 3) Sometimes, “christians” hate other Christians. This isn’t good, it’s not supposed to happen, but it does. Do you feel like Christians hate you? Come on over here and sit down. We can be friends and chat. 4) Girls, girls, girls. Definitely the more difficult to deal with of the two sexes. 5) God REALLY won’t give you more than you can handle. There have been things about ministry that make me feel like I can’t breathe, that cause a deep ache in my heart from the time I wake until I go to sleep again. But I can honestly tell you that the Lord has always been there and has not let me down.

12. I try my best to do what I need to be doing, what scripture calls all Christians to. When I mess up (often), please forgive me. I have a temper, pride issues (hello, I’m a blogger. I talk about myself ALL THE TIME.), a hard time making friends with women, experience a lack of trust with most people, am very “Mama Bear”ish if you mess with my friends, am sometimes quick to speak, and can be incredibly abrasive. Little by little, those things are becoming less of me.

13. I am not who I was. This isn’t by any work of my own, nor any other human: it’s by the changing power of the blood of Jesus Christ. I often feel like a failure thinking back on the type of witness I have been in my lifetime. I’m not the girl I mentioned in #2, though there are parts of her that remain. I’m not anything close to what I was 5 years ago, when I graduated from high school. And now I wish desperately that I could show people that, but they aren’t in my life anymore. That’s life and how things go, but I do hope that someday I am able to share a little of who I am now and Who made me this way with them. Maybe this is a start.

This is, by far, the longest TT I have ever written. I can’t say that a lot of thought went into it, because it didn’t. All this is, as one of my creative writing teachers would call it, is “blood spilled on the pages”. If this mattered to you, touched you, or brought any questions to your mind, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please share in a comment or email: liz@misswisabus.com

Kevin Answers YOUR 13 Questions!

1. Do you love dogs? Yes

2. What is your Myers Briggs Type? ESFJ

3. What are Elizabeth’s traits that you admire most and why? Being my opposite to best be my compliment and helper. It is wonderful that we have common things that we both can share (likes and dislikes), but it is more wonderful for there to be aspects of her that I do not necessarily have (like hospitality) whereby she can compliment me and I her. There have been times where I have thought how easy it would be to have someone that was just like me, but then I think how annoying it would be and how easy doesn’t always equal better or best.

4. What was the very first thing that attracted you to Elizabeth? I am not gonna lie…right off the bat, it was her beauty, but once I got to know her more, she became more and more attractive to me.

5. Before you went, did you ever think you’d stay in Oklahoma after graduating? Absolutely not! I was sold on graduating and moving back to Maryland and living in the house that I grew up in.

6. What is one thing you have been afraid of and have had to overcome? How did you overcome it? And what was the result? Roller coasters. When I was in elementary school I went on this one roller coaster and cried the whole time. Up until late high school, I never rode a roller coaster. I overcame this fear by facing it and getting on a roller coaster and realizing that it wasn’t bad at all and that there was nothing to be afraid of. Now, I have no problem riding roller coasters.

7. What passage of scripture have you taken most encouragement from and why? The whole story of Joseph. The man was humble, loved God wholeheartedly, was able to look temptation in the eye and run away from it. The man was faithful to God during the highs and lows of his life and God blessed him for it. He humbled himself and God exalted him before the world. He is also an example of patience, hard work, strong moral character, and non-instant gratification.

8. What would you consider to be the most pinnacle moment in your Christian walk? Has something happened that really changed the way that you walk with the Lord? The “most” pinnacle moment would have to been when I began the journey accepting Christ in high school. Getting involved with the Baptist Student Union when I came to college has really changed how I walk with God.

9. Tell me about the time that you felt most loved by another person. As I was telling Liz, anytime I am given a hug is when I feel loved because my primary love language is physical touch.

10. What is your salvation testimony? I grew up in the Episcopal church and was involved in almost everything at my church. In the summer of 1996, before my sophomore year of high school, I was in a serious car accident with my brother. He was fine, but I was stuck, eventually having to be cut out of the car. Due to some other details, I ended up at a hospital to stay overnight for observation. My mom told me what she had been informed of by one of the paramedics and told me that she believed an angel was sent to lessen the blow on my side of the car and that God had a purpose for my life. I couldn’t sleep that night partly because of what she said and partly because I couldn’t sleep slightly sitting up. I just consciously made the decision to give my life to Christ, but didn’t learn how to really grow until I came to college.

11. Where is your favorite place to go by yourself, and what makes that place so special to you? Other than the bathroom, I guess my favorite place would be my room mainly because its a place where I can be by myself to just relax.

12. If you could go back and change one things you’ve done with regard to your relationship with Elizabeth, what would it be? Maybe starting it earlier than I did, but then that would have meant that it would be longer before getting married, so I am gonna say I wouldn’t change a thing. I have loved every moment of it, good or bad.

13. What’s your dream vacation? Anywhere as long as Liz is there with me.

Okay, you may think this is weak, but I’m serious! I’m going to interview my boyfriend for my blog. And I want your questions. All I ask is that you keep it tasteful! One question per person, please! Unless you really really need to ask another.

Thirteen Questions for Kevin
1. Do you love dogs?
2. What is your Myers Briggs Type?
3. What are Elizabeth’s traits that you admire most and why?
4. What was the very first thing that attracted you to Elizabeth?
5. Before you went, did you ever think you’d stay in Oklahoma after graduating?
6. What is one thing you have been afraid of and have had to overcome? How did you overcome it? And what was the result?
7. What passage of scripture have you taken most encouragement from and why?
8. What would you consider to be the most pinnacle moment in your Christian walk? Has something happened that really changed the way that you walk with the Lord?
9. Tell me about the time that you felt most loved by another person.
10.
11.
12.
13.

Comment with the title of a book you’d like me to read. I will read the first 13 and do a blog post on each book. If I have read it already, I’ll re-read it just for you. Go!

1. The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
2. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
3. The Ezekiel Option by Joel Rosenberg
4. A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel
5. life on the refrigerator door: Notes between a Mother and Daughter by Alice Kuipers
6. House of Mirth by Edith Wharton
7. A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers
8. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis (all of them)
9. (see above)
10. (see above)
11. (see above)
12. (see above)
13. (see above)

Thirteen Thoughts on Next Week’s American Idol Finale

1. If David Cook hadn’t made it to the finale, I would have never watched again. I’ve never been a devout follower, but something about this season was close to my heart (something I don’t feel comfortable sharing publicly, but feel free to ask. I’ll email you).

2. I really can’t stand David A. (not even gonna bother to try with that one).

3. I’m trying to think of another song that Cook could sing to make me enjoy his music even more, but the guy has honestly covered so many of my favorites already…I feel like I’d be asking too much. Hmm, maybe “Looks Like We Made It” (Barry Manilow) or…”Elizabeth” (Frank Sinatra). But that would be too much.

4. I get to watch it with Kevin. Yay Though I’m a little disappointed that the one year I get passionate about it, he’s kinda “eh.” Not complaining. At least he puts up with me dying and coming back to life all during the first line of David Cook singing “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” Quite a task, I assure you.

5. It’s a Tuesday night. I’m really glad something has come along to ease the pain of the loss I experienced whenever Gilmore Girls ended.

6. Completely unrelated, but I should have my As Time Goes By DVDs by then. And I’m actually more excited about that.

7. Hoping David A. sings something else hilarious (you know, like that lovely Dan Fogelberg number this week). I’m crossing my fingers for either “Arthur’s Theme” by Christopher Cross or “Break My Stride” by Matthew Wilder. That would be some serious comedy, folks.

8. Hoping Kellie Pickler doesn’t show up.

9. And Kelly Clarkson right along with her. You girls can just stay home and watch, okay?

10. I would like to see both Jennifer Hudson and Melinda Doolittle.

11. Kristy Lee Cook and Skunkhair…can do without both of them.

12. Maybe Jason Castro won’t be high?

13. I don’t know how we could pull this off, but maybe David C. could accidentally kick David A. in the face? Hmm. Need to think about the logistics of that one a little more.

Thirteen of My Favorite Dance Moments
Counting down…

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