When my youngest cousin was little, she would run through my great-grandmother’s house saying, “Nannie, morningtime! It’s Tuesday and you’re in Ternell!” The last bit was because at this point our dear Nannie was slipping and about every 15 minutes she would ask where she was, what day of the week it was, and if she could please have her purse. And “Ternell” was my little cousin’s way of pronouncing Pernell, the town that I grew up in.

Coffee. Have to make the coffee.

I think this thought at least 10 times before I get up out of my spot on the couch and do it. The morning is my favorite time of day. It’s when I have my quiet time and all in the house is still. I try my best to make as little noise as possible, so as not to wake the husband or the dog. No matter what though, even when she’s in the garage, puppy knows as soon as I turn on a lamp in the living room. I hear her yawn and shake, jingling her collar.

Coffee.

It is calm. I prefer it when the house is clean, but even when it’s a wreck this is the time of day when I can just be. This comes from a girl who never really had any use for mornings. I don’t know what changed me. Maybe it was 2 years ago when I worked an hour away from home and would have to get up as early as possible if I wanted any time to myself.

Morning. With a little rain, barely a sunrise. A house to be warm in. A soft place to sit and watch the day unfold. I am so thankful that I am learning to appreciate it early in my life. There is a time for sleep, but I must confess I prefer the waking.

Much like my grandmother, as a small child I was under the impression that this was what life in the big city was like:

While I have never encountered anything quite like it, this gives me hope that one day we can live in a world where it’s okay for me to run down the street and burst into song. Whereas right now they’d cart me off to Griffin.

I was blipping this morning and decided to share. In second grade (1992) we did this awesome musical. In it we sang this song.

And around that time, this was the look I was rockin’.

If we were going to have dancing at our reception, I’d be up for this being our fun first dance.

I almost apologize (or do I go ahead and do it?) every time I take a break here. Maybe it would be different if they were planned absences. But I watch my StatCounter hover around the same number every day, no matter if I’m posting or not, and I feel bad for not providing you all with something to read. For that, I apologize. For the rest, well, let me give you a run down of what’s been going on.

Soundtrack for today’s post

One week (the week and a half before Valentine’s Day) I had the flu, the next week I had an unbearable amount of stressful drama, and this past week, I broke. Without sharing too many details (the truth is that I don’t mind sharing with about 99.77365% of you, but there is one person I am in contact with on a day-to-day basis that I don’t want to share most of this with…maybe I’ll make a password protected post in the future) I will tell you that last week a coworker had to rush me to an urgent med center because I had gone numb in my hands and face, was faint, and had difficulty breathing. I had rushes of warmth all over my face and I sat alone at my desk at work thinking I was dying. As a last effort (I thought) to save my life (or possibly just NOT die at the front desk), I called my boss and everything after that is pretty blurry. I was taken to the urgent med center and they immediately checked the level of oxygen in my blood. They handed me forms to fill out (seriously? I cannot believe that they did this. The girl at the front desk clearly did not realize the severity of the situation. And I told her that). I couldn’t remember my phone number, work address, or my parents’ area code.

The whole reason I was so concerned was because I had started birth control about 3 weeks before and the things that I was experiencing were all things that it said to seek a physician’s care for immediately because of the risk of a blood clot. I was freaking out because I thought it was a stroke or a heart attack. I have never been so frightened in my life. They ran an EKG and did some chest x-rays to make sure that it wasn’t a blood clot (because it was a possibility) and there weren’t any problems there.

Again, I’m not going to say exactly what it was. I’m pretty sure most people can figure it out. If you can’t, email me. I’ll talk to you about it. The reason I’m being so cryptic is because there are people that I don’t want advice from. They aren’t qualified to give it. I am working on getting things under control, relaxing, and focusing on what I can do today and not the piles of things that have to be finished in the next 96 days.

I am okay, my life is good, and things are getting better. Thank you for your concern.

Almost an hour into it already. Let me say that I liked Justin Timberlake, Boyz II Men, Al Green, and Keith Urban and Coldplay. Kid Rock? I’ll pass.

• Miley Cyrus isn’t my taste. I like Taylor Swift though. Enunciate Miley, enunciate! And stop pronouncing things like a cross between Tori Amos and Bjork.
• Alison Krauss has hair like a goddess.
• Jennifer Hudson. Sing girl. Someday her life is going to be a movie. That’s got to be so difficult to be up there.
• You mind if I liveblog the commercials? Cause I really want Heidi Klum’s hair in the Guitar Hero commercial.
• *too busy watching the Jonas Brothers to liveblog*
• Blink 182 is back. I’m in junior high again.
• Katy Perry’s performance = a Fruitopia commercial. Oh, and she can’t dance. Or sing while dancing. Wait. That’s not conditional on dancing.
• What year is Kanye borrowing his hair from?
• Oh hooray! It’s my girl, Adele. I want to be her pal. Looks like we share the same kind of love for the Jo Bros. And she loves Duffy! Score. Okay, now we all just need to get together, get Amy Winehouse cleaned up, and form the ultimate girl group. ‘Kay? ‘Kay.
• Is Natalie Cole wearing paper chains on her dress?

TAKING A BREAK SO I CAN SHOWER AND WASH THE FLU OFF MY SKIN.

• Did I miss anything good?
• Oblahblahblah.
• I can handle this Four Tops stuff. Quality.
• Don’t get the appeal of Lil Wayne. Robin Thicke, well, that I understand.
• I want T-Pain’s hat.
• Oplease. Keep the politics out of it.

And with that, I end my post. I took some Nyquil a bit ago and now I’m fading. Up early for work in the morning and taking the Daytime Theraflu with me. Night folks!

My second video blog, first real video response to LOST. Let’s hope I can keep this going!

Also: The Lost Podcast with Jay and Jack: Ep. 4.7 “The Little Prince”

Hey, I didn’t say that. Blame NMTB. But I’ll go ahead and tell you that I used to be a HUGE fan of Celine Dion in 6th grade. Back in the day, I got to participate in the couples’ skate (do you know how important this is to an elementary school kid??) with my crush of the moment while they played “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” The date of the field trip (May 13, 1997) was written inside a heart in the diary I kept until I decided to destroy it in 10th grade. Intense and memorable. I mean, I’m telling you about it now, right? It’s only mildly embarrassing and I’m really hoping that none of my classmates read this thing, or worse, HIM. Lawsy mercy. Moving on.

So I used to be a fan. Then she started getting a little flamboyant with the gesturing during her performances. And then she was adding bits of choreography that made me cower behind the coffee table. Then when I thought it couldn’t get any worse she thought it would be a good idea to add an air guitar and pelvic thrusts. Oh, Celine

Nowadays I am positively frightened by some of the stuff she does onstage. Just today I saw a video that made my face “twist into a painful grimace” (stole that phrase from Stephenie Meyer ) Don’t blame me for your nightmares.

These videos have turned out to be great fun for me. I like to rickroll my fiance with them. It’s a true test of devotion. And the wedding is still on, so…great!

Last night I made the mistake of reading this article, which features the following photo. And then I gasped, closed my laptop, went to bed, and prayed not to have bad dreams. Joaquin Phoenix, get well

—————————————————————————————–

In other nightmarish news, the porn industry wants a bailout (okay, so that one is sort of a joke), TV thinks they deserve one, too, and some Pro-Hamas demonstrators said something really, really inappropriate.

Hah.

This has been my winter mix this year and it’s played over and over about 11.25 times each day at my desk (I did the math). Since I’ve been reading The Twilight Saga to develop my comprehensive argument against it (I really like comprehensive arguments) at the same time, I’ve no doubt that whenever I hear these songs in the future I will immediately think of Edward Cullen and his cold, hard, marble flesh.* The same goes for Claire Marvel by John Burnham Schwartz and eastmountainsouth’s self-titled album.

Okay, I was going to list them then I realized that it was just a mish-mash of stuff from Sarah McLachlan’s Wintersong and Loreena McKennitt’s To Drive the Cold Winter Away.

*Appetizing, I know. But seriously Bella, there’s something to be said for a warm body.