Brr.

Okay folks. (I had a teacher in 8th grade who said that to get our attention. And then just got louder until we shut up. Folks. FOLKS.)

It’s freezing out there. Where I’m sitting in Norman it’s currently 18° F with a windchill of -1° F. Winds have picked up to almost 30 miles per hour here this morning.

Need I say, BRR again?

The puppy, who is usually an outside critter, has been spending the last few days indoors in the evening. Today, tomorrow, and likely Saturday she will be inside all day. I noticed her morning tinkle break took a whole lot less time today. That and now I’m thinking she may not be the early riser that I am. Brought the girl back in and she settled in on her pillow here in the living room to head back to dreamland. Lucky dog.

In the meantime, Kevin and I will be getting ready for the day and heading to work at school. Our district is one of the ones that has chosen not to close this morning, but there are many around the OKC metro area that called their closing yesterday. More have been added to that list this morning. I hear complaints from people raised in other areas of the country that they dealt with temperatures and conditions much lower when they were in school. You know, your typical, “I walked to school in 3′ of snow, uphill both ways!” Yeah, okay. This is Oklahoma. A lot of these kids live below the poverty line and don’t have pants to put on today before they walk to school. I think people might be surprised at the number of kids who wear shorts year-round. And maybe a hoodie. The fact is that not all these kids are prepared and I feel like the Oklahoma City and Edmond districts made a smart decision in closing for the cold temps. The students are the most important thing to consider in a situation like this, not whether mom and dad are going to be late to work because they have to drop them off somewhere or find a sitter. Kids who have a regular ride to school and their parents might not understand the necessity of closing, but if you were in the group that had no choice but to walk and had no parent or family member who cared to clothe you or make sure you had a safe way to get to school, I think you might get an idea.

Now I’m having coffee. And putting on a parka.

I know. You’ve been longing for one of these. Here goes.

• First off, question. Does anyone have a good pizza dough recipe to share? I’m trying to find one that my husband will like. I’ve been using plain old Pillsbury and I’ll be honest: it’s not the best. His issue is with the texture. Mine is with the sweetness. I want something that will provide a thin crust, crispy all over. Nothing doughy.
• Batman. Vanishing.
• This is one of my pet peeves as well. I sometimes wish that people who ask these kinds of questions could understand what it’s like to suffer from chronic health issues that don’t always manifest themselves in a way that is visible to the general public. I mean, I could make that happen, but seriously you do not want that. For the record, I would love to be able to participate in things every time a person asks me to. The issues I have suffered from are one of the reasons that I rarely, if ever, volunteer my time or spread myself too thin with obligations. You get really tired of disappointing people after a while.
• The aforementioned is another reason that I hate it when people flake out on plans with no reason.
• Great post from The Happy Housewife on surviving a deployment when you have small children. I have a few friends in this boat and I thought they might find the article helpful.
• While you’re over at The Happy Housewife, take a look at her recipe for Salmon Turnovers. I can’t wait to try these!
• This week I missed meeting The Pioneer Woman at her book signing in Oklahoma City. *cry* But watching this video made me feel a little bit better.
• A little shoutout to Miss Melissa and all the other NaBloPoMo participants joining in this year! I think this is my second year? Can’t remember. I’ll check my archives. Maybe I should have done that before writing this bullet point and floundering around like an imbecile. But that’s why you love me, right?

Back in late February, I had a panic attack. There was a combination of factors that I believe brought the whole thing on (the primary one is still something I don’t feel comfortable talking about in much detail), but essentially what it all came down to was me doing my normal thing, being an observer, but instead of putting my thoughts and feelings out somewhere I was internalizing. Stewing over a variety of things from the inconsequential to the life-changing. And for some reason on that day, everything exploded.

Most things have gone back to normal. I still get the tingles sometimes, the pains in my muscles that signal an attack is trying to build up, and the occasional bout of unexplained weepiness. That’s only sometimes though. I feel good and I don’t wake up scared every morning that I’m going to deal with the crippling fear of death’s imminence.

There is one thing that has never really gone back to normal though. Something that had been such a constant in my life that nowadays I will have someone ask me about it and I’ll have to answer with an honest, “I don’t know.” And then they look at me like I’ve entered the room riding one of the horses of the apocalypse.

I stopped watching the news. I turned off NPR. Changed my radio presets to Gospel/preaching*—Classical—Soft rock—Oldies—Pop—Soft rock (in that order according to where they sit on the dial. You know, OCD and all). I turned off the TV for the most part and started watching my Dr. Quinn DVDs whenever I was waiting for my next Netflix DVD.

Some of the things in the news had stirred up a lot of emotions in me. A lot of them in roundabout ways (idiots attempting to bait me with simple discussion questions that turned into a knock-down, drag-out debate) and I won’t say that it was totally the content of the news. Just something about it keys me up. I get a thrill and really enjoy watching most news programs over anything else. But now? My love for journalistic reporting has died down to almost nothing. On one had I can’t stand to hear the anchors sing the praises of Obama, on the other I hate that every word coming out of a person’s mouth is condemnation of the president. There is no middle ground that I see. Even if it did exist, I’m not sure that I’d want to be any part of it. It reminds me too much of being “lukewarm.”

I have eased back into TV “news” just a smidge. I do love Fox & Friends Weekend and if I wake up in time I try to watch it on my couch with a cup of coffee. But it’s not the first thing that I turn on anymore. You’re more likely to find me listening to a relaxation podcast than sitting in front of a TV blasting the headlines. It’s been a nice break and I can’t say that I feel like I’m missing too much. If history is any guide, all it would take to get me sitting in front of the set again would be a national tragedy or celebrity death.** But who knows when I’ll be back to my old routine, if ever. I do have a male residing in my home now and I’ve noticed that the amount of time the dial spends on ESPN has gone up by like 5000%…

*This particular preaching is hard-hitting on the mega-church, GospelLite ™, “prosper in all things” preachers that are so prevalent these days. I like that.
**This was written on Wednesday, June 24, 2009. Who would have known we’d have Farrah and MJ the next day…

Don’t kid yourselves. It will be the robots. Have you seen Artificial Intelligence? *shudder*

They’ve created this little monster in Japan.

Not exactly Kid Sister or My Buddy. You can read more about her here.

Okay. WHAT? Brit papers and, ahem, Perez Hilton, are reporting that Michelle Obama may be pregnant. It’s probably not true, but if it is…the five of you who heard about my apocalyptic dream from Thursday night are probably passed out on your keyboard right now–dddddddhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

‘Assault draws more questions‘…umm, yeah! So there’s this guy and he gets into some sort of kerfuffle with this girl and she hits him in the head, yada yada, and apparently cuts off part of his finger with a “tool.” Then it gets interesting.

“He said that his finger wasn’t completely cut off; that it was hanging by a little bit,” officer Jerry Kraft stated in a filed report.

In an apparent moment of panic the man claims he tore the rest of his finger off and threw it into the toilet. He quickly changed his mind and retrieved the piece before making the decision to have an ambulance crew transport him to the hospital.

What?!

Hope you enjoy my little link roundup here. Still working on my Pumpkin Spice blend coffee. I love low-carbing. Why? Two words: WHIPPED. CREAM.

Kevin and I are off to look at couches this evening at *cue organ music that makes you think of death and hades* Mathis Brothers. I have a reason for the music and I will tell you later. Suffice to say the ONLY reason I am going back is because I harassed no less than 15 people at that store until I got a $100 gift card.

THEN. We’re going to the mall and I’m going to spend a Sephora gift card. And honestly? Probably another hundred dollars of my own. Gah. I’m hopeless in there. And THEN we’re eating at The Cheesecake Factory for my belated birthday date.

And somewhere in there we’re picking up our engagement photos!

• This is a hilarious idea for a wedding. And only slightly creepy for my brother who was always scared to death by my dad whenever he made a change to his facial hair. Now, myself, I was scared of Granny’s wise men in the living room. The one with the black beard and crazy eyes freaked me out.
• I don’t about you, but that’s what I did on my birthday.
• My hometown (Elmore City, Oklahoma) has been experiencing a rash in cattle shootings. That raises some concern for me, but, I’m sorry, not quite as much as when the local devil worshipers were cutting one leg off a cow and leaving it to bleed to death. I dunno. Something about that doesn’t set well with me.
• Speaking of sawed off limbs…”7th Human Foot Washes Ashore on Canadian Coast.” I have watched enough crime dramas on TV to know that you have to study the tides before throwing stuff like that in the ocean. Seriously. So either this dude (statistics say it’s probably a dude*) knows what he’s doing and wants people to find these feet OR he’s an idiot.
• Please press charges. She could be your grandmother, folks.
• Note to self: hold your breath when you visit California. But seriously, there’s probably more than one reason to do that.
• “Rino Season Is Now Open“–Obey the spirit of the wild. I think (if it’s still on the air) Ted Nugent’s show on the Outdoor Network (?) is probably the only one my dad refuses to watch. It doesn’t matter how entertaining it may be, Dad can spot crazy from a mile away. Through a Leupold scope, most likely.
• If you aren’t listening to The Grizzly Bear Egg Cafe, you should be. I’m not sure why I tune in, since I know next to nothing about comic books, wrestling, and half the stuff they talk about…but it’s great.
• Uhh…this is funny. “Yeah, I know gays have been treated like crap over the years – but they were never slaves – unless it was requested in a Craigslist ad.” *ducks behind couch*
• Kevin and I have already discussed this and we are going to have one in our own home whenever we have children. Thank you, Redneck Diva!
• Go buy some Christmas gifts! I link to this because it features something that makes me laugh, too: the “Nuddle” or “Snuggie” whatever you want to call it. The blanket with sleeves that makes you look like a monk.>
• The Friar looks to the future and tells us what the next four years will be like.
• You know what I have to say? Get over it. Like I told Nume over at Kick the Anthill, “I watched my dad bleed and clean turkeys hanging from my swingset outside my bedroom window by the light of the November moon.” And look how I turned out.
• Picking this up the next time I’m at the newstand! Yay, French Toast Girl!
• Oh my goodness…yes.
  

  Everytime I hear about the Twilight series it makes me want to edit the Wikipedia page on vampires and remove the word “blood”.

  “Although many different cultures have been found to have myths of vampirism, it seems one defining factor is that all vampires suck blood”

  But I am trying to have grace since some of my loved ones are OBSESSED. Sigh. This holiday season could be really difficult. Forget not talking politics, let’s not talk Twilight.

• It’s sweater weather!
• “It’s simple, really: the real purpose of this mass gathering is not to witness history–but to pick up co-eds. The fact is, there has never been a better wing man on the planet than Obama. With his amazing ability to unify everyone under a feel-good notion that you’re totally awesome and everything’s going to be peachy keen – he’s like a human version of an ecstasy pill. If you’re for Obama, suddenly making out with someone else whose for Obama is totally okay!”
• At least there is someone who is standing firm and not swaying like a reed. Good for you, Fr. Jay Scott Newman.
• Brits at their best–what the stones don’t say. Thank you to those who have gone before us.

*Statistics produced by my brain.

The Aftermath: “She’s worth fighting for.”

h/t The Anchoress

• “I seek and rely on a higher authority.” Could not agree more.
• Balding white boys, there is no need to fear. America has not forgotten you and you WILL be represented in this White House!
• “I’m not a fan of messengers–I’m a fan of messages.” And I’m a fan of Greg Gutfeld.
• Flip-flop.
• “Sarah Palin Frontrunner for 2012” – girl, I am with you all the way. And if she’s running in 2048, after I evaluate where she stands on some things, she may just have my vote as well.
• Hey, Nume? Remember that thing I told you about? TRUE.
• Clearly, disagreeing with you means that they were not thinking, right, Nancy?
• This is one of the sweetest, heartbreaking Post Secrets I’ve ever read.
• An open message to the GOP leaders: “Be the orchestra.“
• Sometimes you need a nice day outside. This weekend was an inside one for me, but one full of rest that did me good.
• You, my dear, are gorgeous and classy. Stay that way. I think we would be pals, Miss Meghan McCain.
• I don’t trust people who take shots at elderly women.
• It’s really nice to have people do everything for you and get you through a tough time. He should try getting his wisdom teeth removed!
• She’s a doll. And kinda like my blogging mom, only younger
• Sexy TV shows linked to teen pregnancy. Duh.
• You can always count on Nume to let everyone know what’s worth seeing in the theater, in fact, Fireproof was one that was suggested a while back. Now Ed Morrissey of Hot Air says, “Those who want to see theaters featuring Christian values and uplifting stories of faith, forgiveness, and love should support Fireproof before it disappears from the big screen.”
• Chinese dragon tattoos–we were 14 at the same time and I am trying to remember if these were cool then, Leah…? And stay tuned. I found some poetry I wrote in 8th grade.
• Since I wasn’t around, I’ll leave it to Jay Tea to show us the similarities between when Carter went into office and our current situation as Obama takes his seat behind the desk. I wonder if presidents have desk toys?
• Cindy has got some FREE FOOD for you! And some that isn’t quite free, but close enough.

Aside: Whenever I was on the painkillers and still coming down off the anesthesia, I starred some random links on my Google Reader. For the life of me I cannot figure out why I thought some of these things (that I am not including) were worth blogging about.

And finally, I would rather be hated for something I did, than loved for something that I would have no part of.

It’s freezing in here. Going to turn up the heat.

All right, that’s better. Coffee is brewing and I’m wide-awake, looking outside at the extraordinary cloud of fog that has gathered in my backyard, and likely the rest of Norman this morning. Clare has been sitting on the back step staring out into the soupy white abyss all morning. I think this is the first fog she’s seen. Also, this appears to be the morning that the leaves in my trees decided they were going to fall. At least the tree closest to the house. So many of them are falling from the top limbs that it sounds like it’s sprinkling outside.

As you know, Kevin and I dressed as McCain and Palin for Halloween this year. I will admit right now that I have nothing on this girl, but that I plan to produce a few of these in the future:

• McDonald’s stops offering free cups of water. Isn’t this against the law in some places? Once when I was at Six Flags Over Texas in Arlington, everyone was getting water for free because not long before a woman had died after they had refused to give her water during a heat stroke or something. Hmm. I just always thought you couldn’t get away with refusing someone a cup of water.
• Go vote on Tuesday and then get yourself some free coffee. But please go listen to Cindy before you do. I’m going to wait until the evening to get mine, because I know I’ll be up all night.
• What it’s like to be a woman. Unless you’ve never struggled with your weight. Then…psh. About to share something that is probably TMI (that’s “Too Much Information”, Mom)–Heather, remember that time I wore that tank top to bed that had the built in sports bra and thought I was going to choke to death in my sleep? Yeah, that was funny. And similar.
• The 10 Cannots by William J. H. Boetcker. “You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.”
• My fellow Republicans, the time is NOW. “If you decide upon a third party in protest, you are casting a vote for Barack Obama.”
• I don’t really mind modern versions of Christmas songs, but seriously, that “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” by the Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan needs to be put down in the back pasture and left on the hill to attract flies and dry out.
• Obama’s coronation outfit. And how his followers are like people stumbling around in basement in a horror flick, saying, “who’s there?” and moving toward the sound instead of RUNNING AWAY AND SAVING THEIR FAMILY.
• Jeremiah Wright planted a “seed of faith” in Barack Obama.
• “Go ahead and call me racist. I don’t care. I’m not voting Barack.”
• Making the world a weirder place. Starting with my eBay package.
• Forget getting answers before Wednesday. Barack Obama won’t be answering questions until after the election. Score.
• Pay attention:

And on one last, bitter note this Sunday morning…I do not expect to change anyone’s mind at this point. Not at all. But you bet your sweet buttons I will be blaming you for the next four years.

If you’re fine selling American to the highest bidder, you are a fool.
If you’re fine with voting for someone with shady (at best) associations, let it be on your head. (If a homegrown terrorist had killed one of your family members, where would you stand?)
If you’re fine with voting for someone who has no qualms with letting a baby, born alive, die, let their final whimpers echo in your mind when you dream. (Tell me, when does your child or grandchild become a person? The moment they emerge into open air? Or the moment you find out that, miraculously, a minute speck of endless possibility–a HUMAN BEING–is thriving inside your body or that of a family member?)

7:57 – Getting ready for this thing to start.
8:02 – Yay! Here they are!
8:03 – Wowee. Okay, it’s the only time I’ll say it and it has nothing to do with anything, but YAY for going ahead and being a girl. She is beautiful.
8:05 – I appreciate eye-contact. Thank you, Governor.
8:06 – Wootiwoo! Did she just gesture toward Mr. B? Yes, I think she did!
8:07 – An aside: I used to think Joe Biden was attractive. I don’t anymore. A young John McCain was like, sooo much better looking. What do you think?

8:20 – This debate is brought to you by the word “fairness.”
8:27 – “Toxic mess”–I agree.
8:32 – Wait. What, Joe? I thought you opened this thing up with your biggest “fundamental difference?”
8:34 – Oh, you’ve always been for clean coal? That explains the clip I saw of you.
8:34 – Ten years to get a drop of that oil to us? Here, Joe, here’s my dad’s number. Just give him a call. If you need some oil I am sure that he’d be happy to get some to you, stat.
8:42 – No end in sight to the war? Are you kidding me?
8:43 – A white flag. Amen.
8:44 – Go ahead, giggle. It’s funny, Joe. How you loved John McCain, sang his praises, and said you’d love to run on a ticket with him until you had an offer from your own side of the aisle.
8:49 – Umm, I believe he did suggest sitting down and speaking with Ahmadinejad. Hold on. I’ll find the clip.
8:52 – Yeah, I’m sure he has a passion for Israel. Sure. But I am also fairly sure it’s not the same passion. Do with that what you will.
8:54 – LOL. Did you HEAR that intake of breath?! Are you watching his lips twitch?! Is he seething or is it just another aneurysm?
9:06 – John McCain “knows what evil is” and it smells like B.O.
9:07 – It would be a “national tragedy of historic proportions.” Well, at least it would be history then. “But if it did…”–one can only hope.
9:09 – You are doing good tonight, girl.
9:17 – Yeah, but umm…President of the Senate ex officio? Heard of that one?
9:20 – You’re not going to change, but isn’t that what your entire campaign is built around?
9:22 – Regarding Twitter updates I have been subjected to: you are tacky, you don’t love your country, and you, well, I’m just ashamed of you.
9:25 – Good. I’m ready for this to be over.
9:26 – Please do well, please do well, please do well.
9:27 – You sure think highly of yourself.
9:28 – You’ve never questioned another senator’s motives? Isn’t that what you are doing with most of what McCain stands for?
9:30 – I appreciate you, Gov. Palin. What you believe in, what you are not afraid to stand up for, the decisions that you make, and I appreciate the fact that I can be proud to have a woman like you, representing a woman like me in this age of change. Gov. Palin, you are my pick. I am not frightened at the thought of having you “a heartbeat away” from the presidency–I’m thrilled. For the first time in my life, I can say that I am proud to have a woman in your position representing me and the things that I stand for.

Go get ‘em.

(Cross-posted to Kick the Anthill)