I went to Hastings this evening to buy my copy of Going Rogue (coworkers gave me a giftcard there for my birthday & did you know that the book sold 300,000 copies on its first day?) and first thing, just as soon as I walked through the door, a youngish employee walked up to me carrying a sign advertising happy hour at their cafe, kinda dancing around with it. That was weird enough. Then she said, “I think I’ll just let Sarah Palin’s book table (at the front of the store, where I was walking) prop up my sign. It’s not good for anything else, right? Haha.” I smiled politely, picked up my copy (one of the dozen or so left on the long table) and walked on.

What do you do in a situation like that? Say, “I’m going to overlook your ignorance and go ahead and make my purchase here, rather than at a more professional establishment.” What in the WORLD? It may not be the first rule, but somewhere near the top is, “Do not make disparaging comments about your product.”

Honey, you are working in a retail store. You sell books, DVDs, CDs, and the occasional cup of coffee. Keyword here? SELL. You SELL. You sell your personality as a retail salesclerk and every product in the establishment. If you have a problem with something you are selling or feel SO STRONGLY about it that you cannot keep your mouth shut around a customer who just walked in the door (I was literally 5 steps inside the store), you need to find yourself a different job.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate an employee being knowledgeable about a product. I love when I can ask a bookseller a question and get a good answer. It is so rare to find that anymore. So, yes, your opinion does matter…when your customer asks for it. Even then you should use some tact.

And I’m not just saying this because it’s Palin. I understand that there are a lot of people who don’t like her. This is “I Work in Retail 101″ and a notice to the Hastings in Norman, Oklahoma that you have a rogue employee you might want to get under control. You have a right to your political opinion and a right to share it. But not to customers in your place of business.

For the first time in three, maybe four, years, I did not host a Halloween party. It felt a little weird, but I was really content to sleep in today and watch Halloween in my pajamas instead of wake up and work on party preparations until seconds before the first guests walked through the door. Really. And it helped that our town’s designated trick-or-treat night wasn’t held on the actual holiday (due to some sporting event that draws an 80k+ crowd). No one bothering us. Much to our surprise, no one tried to trick us last night while we sat indoors with all the lights out. We really scrooged this one.

I do enjoy the holiday. As unpopular as it may be with some of my family and friends who feel it does more harm than good, having never celebrated until college made it quite the treat for me. Dressing up as a fictional character? I am so there.

To keep in the spirit of things. I thought I would share some photos from Halloweens past. It’s really a rather significant night in the evolution of my relationship with Mr. Crumpler. You see, at my second Halloween party, Kevin showed up. Invited of course, but still, I barely knew him. At that point I thought he was interested in me, but…little did I know the wheels that were turning in that man’s brain. It was that evening, just 3 years ago, that I caught him looking at me and quickly glancing away. All evening long.

Smooth, Kevin. Reeeal smooth.

The food is one of the most important parts of these parties. But when is it not if I’m hosting it.

This was the year that I was Dorothy Gale at the dayschool and Kevin and I were Alfalfa and Darla that evening at the party.

And of course, last year Kevin and I were John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Back in late February, I had a panic attack. There was a combination of factors that I believe brought the whole thing on (the primary one is still something I don’t feel comfortable talking about in much detail), but essentially what it all came down to was me doing my normal thing, being an observer, but instead of putting my thoughts and feelings out somewhere I was internalizing. Stewing over a variety of things from the inconsequential to the life-changing. And for some reason on that day, everything exploded.

Most things have gone back to normal. I still get the tingles sometimes, the pains in my muscles that signal an attack is trying to build up, and the occasional bout of unexplained weepiness. That’s only sometimes though. I feel good and I don’t wake up scared every morning that I’m going to deal with the crippling fear of death’s imminence.

There is one thing that has never really gone back to normal though. Something that had been such a constant in my life that nowadays I will have someone ask me about it and I’ll have to answer with an honest, “I don’t know.” And then they look at me like I’ve entered the room riding one of the horses of the apocalypse.

I stopped watching the news. I turned off NPR. Changed my radio presets to Gospel/preaching*—Classical—Soft rock—Oldies—Pop—Soft rock (in that order according to where they sit on the dial. You know, OCD and all). I turned off the TV for the most part and started watching my Dr. Quinn DVDs whenever I was waiting for my next Netflix DVD.

Some of the things in the news had stirred up a lot of emotions in me. A lot of them in roundabout ways (idiots attempting to bait me with simple discussion questions that turned into a knock-down, drag-out debate) and I won’t say that it was totally the content of the news. Just something about it keys me up. I get a thrill and really enjoy watching most news programs over anything else. But now? My love for journalistic reporting has died down to almost nothing. On one had I can’t stand to hear the anchors sing the praises of Obama, on the other I hate that every word coming out of a person’s mouth is condemnation of the president. There is no middle ground that I see. Even if it did exist, I’m not sure that I’d want to be any part of it. It reminds me too much of being “lukewarm.”

I have eased back into TV “news” just a smidge. I do love Fox & Friends Weekend and if I wake up in time I try to watch it on my couch with a cup of coffee. But it’s not the first thing that I turn on anymore. You’re more likely to find me listening to a relaxation podcast than sitting in front of a TV blasting the headlines. It’s been a nice break and I can’t say that I feel like I’m missing too much. If history is any guide, all it would take to get me sitting in front of the set again would be a national tragedy or celebrity death.** But who knows when I’ll be back to my old routine, if ever. I do have a male residing in my home now and I’ve noticed that the amount of time the dial spends on ESPN has gone up by like 5000%…

*This particular preaching is hard-hitting on the mega-church, GospelLite ™, “prosper in all things” preachers that are so prevalent these days. I like that.
**This was written on Wednesday, June 24, 2009. Who would have known we’d have Farrah and MJ the next day…

Mmm…Raspberries & Creme. I love flavored coffee. It makes my sugar-free life worth living. On with the show!

• I got a tumblr. And my name on there is Crumpette. You see, I’m about to marry a guy whose last name is Crumpler and who has been called Crumpy by one and all for a long time now. So, naturally, I’m Crumpette, right? He warned me that the name might stick if I’m not careful. It’s not any worse than being called Lizard Breath by your older cousins when you are 4-years-old and sensitive to things like that.
• Robyn Hitchcock is talking about making a Magnum Force (the sequel to Dirty Harry) musical. I ran into this piece of news somewhere else and then Brett wrote something on it and I had to link you all to his post. In it he points out a very serious flaw. I don’t know if that was on the part of the person who did the write-up on Broadway.com or Robyn Hitchcock–”an admitted Magnum Force obsessive.”
• Scientology Incorporated by Tim Slagle
• Thomas Jeffries brings up some great points about worship songs in Modern Worship: It’s All About Me.
• In case you missed it (it was buried beneath a lot of things in the news) — “It seems the era of Hope is to be inaugurated with a slaughter of the innocents.”
• Fireproof is now out on DVD. Go buy!
• Not really sure what to make of Obama’s comments about Robert E. Lee at the Alfalfa Club Dinner.
• Now, more than ever, I believe that John McCain never wanted or intended to be president.
• Lincoln. King. Obama? Please.
  
• We’ve gone back to the 70s.
  

  So I’m thinking we’ll have the following scenario in about four years:

  1. A Western governor who is incredibly enthusiastic and telegenic runs for President.

  2. This governor is tough, athletic, very happily married, loves the outdoors, and makes everyone feel good after an administration that bumbles its way through a single-term fiasco.

  3. The governor gets elected despite huge, active opposition from the supposedly neutral media, and the seemingly impossible occurs — the economy turns around, and a major bloc of America’s enemies fall like dominoes and freedom prospers in places where it formerly seemed impossible.

  Anybody remember Ronald Reagan?

  Okay, can you think of a Western governor with a two-syllable first name whose two-syllable last name rhymes with Reagan?

  Think about it – you can see her house from here.

  Supposedly, the Mayan calendar runs out in 2012 (so much for vision from those guys) and correlates with a Hindu prophecy from Lord Krishna that says we will enter a Golden Age on Earth. Can you hear a sitar playing? (Shut up, it’s a better idea than Edgar Cayce or $cientology or The Presidential Pledge.)

  Sounds good to me, you betchas.

• Explain this to me–why is our president carrying around a monkey god in his pocket?

Okay. WHAT? Brit papers and, ahem, Perez Hilton, are reporting that Michelle Obama may be pregnant. It’s probably not true, but if it is…the five of you who heard about my apocalyptic dream from Thursday night are probably passed out on your keyboard right now–dddddddhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

…just what possessed Shia LaBeouf to wear a bag on his head.

I’m thinking he probably heard about my brother and I planning to perform at Barnes & Noble as Liz & the Bagman (me sitting on a stool, singing and wearing my Lisa Loeb glasses and Kyle with a bag on his head playing guitar because what about playing music with your sister who’s, visually, a cross between Lisa Loeb and Sarah Palin and covers Captain & Tennille, Tori Amos, and Little Jimmy Osmond all in one set isn’t embarrassing?). Please, Shia. Try something original.

Mmm. I love Nyquil. Now, some late evening links for you.

• Ouch. The moment before the pain begins.
• Photos from today’s pro-Israel rally in Denver. Very interesting shots from both sides.
• Obama Clock – Wow. That is a long time. Well, at least I’ll learn some patience.
• Afghan man held for his sister’s forced abortion. Warning: This is very disturbing.
• Nume at KTA reminds those of us in Oklahoma to tune in to Crystal Darkness, a documentary that focuses on the serious problems meth production and addiction has caused in the state. The Pauls Valley Daily Democrat chimes in as well.
• The things Claire’s daughters found while digging remind me a lot of the treasures I would find will digging in the hill our house was built on. It was constructed some time in the 1930s over the plot that once was home to the movie theater in town and near where the roller skating rink had been. Anyone who knows what Pernell, Oklahoma looks like now and wasn’t aware that those things were there almost 100 years ago will probably think I am lying
• Miss Phelps from the Luann comic is a saucy little minx.
• I love Cajun Mark (at Red Eye’s Activity Pit) and his cajun versions of…everything. Here we have the Ten Commandments.
• Melessa got a surprise!
• Shannon explains just what CPSIA is and what it will mean for makers of homemade goods (Etsy sellers, etc.). Very important information.

That’s all for today! I’m off to rest my little head. I’ll be finishing Breaking Dawn tomorrow (finally!) and then getting started on my 200 Year Reading Challenge. Do let me know if you decide to do one yourself!

To tell Bush and Obama apart, despite what people are saying.

See if you can tell them apart!

I ended up 15-2. What can I say? I’m good.

h/t The Anchoress

It’s good, seriously. Kevin will even drink it. This is saying a lot because I always have him test my drinks to make sure they are sugar-free (since I am no longer capable of telling the difference) and he always cringes and says “yes” except for with this, he’ll drink it.

Oh, and Mom or any other family that is still looking for gift ideas for me (people are not happy that I’m saying “get me something from my wedding registry”)–I WANT THIS:

Yes, an AeroGarden. Go ahead and laugh if you want, but when you have a belly full of my delicious food you will be glad you bought it.

Yesterday, I put up my little white tree.

She knows she’s gorgeous.

This weekend has really been one of thanksgiving. There are a lot of reasons to be thankful, but one in particular for me was getting a letter in the mail on Wednesday that I wasn’t expecting for another month. It was from the Oklahoma State Department of Education and it was my acceptance letter into the Alternative Teacher Certification program. Basically what that means is that I already have a regular degree and that I will be working toward finishing a few courses and exams so that I will have full certification to teach in Oklahoma. I cannot tell you what a blessing it was to get this news in the mail on that day. I am struggling in some areas and that is just what I needed to hear.

And on that note I would also like to say that if you don’t have something positive or supportive to say about me teaching, shut your face. I heard enough of it this weekend from someone and I am done with that.

Now, some links for this Sunday!

• I hope to have a household like this someday.
• “Next we’ll find out that Martha Wayne, Bruce’s mom, didn’t die either, and she sent herself forward in time to become Selina Kyle, the Catwoman. On the other hand, forget I said that. Morrison may go back to writing the title someday and it now seems likely he wouldn’t understand it’s a joke.”
• iProd: The kind of fun country kids have with PawPaw’s cattle prod. You didn’t hear that from me.
• Kevin! Look! Chicken coop!
• If you weren’t already aware, most people are jerks.
• “There’s the belief*, certainly in some quarters, that people haven’t embraced Jesus Christ as their personal savior that they’re going to hell…That’s just not part of my religious makeup.” – Barack H. Obama. Good to know.
• He isn’t running a country, he’s hiding in a closet.
• Fried pies, yum. Next to donuts, that would be the first thing I’d go for on a high-carb day.

*Romans 10:13 & 14 – for “WHOEVER WILL CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD WILL BE SAVED.” How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher?

Hope you enjoy my little link roundup here. Still working on my Pumpkin Spice blend coffee. I love low-carbing. Why? Two words: WHIPPED. CREAM.

Kevin and I are off to look at couches this evening at *cue organ music that makes you think of death and hades* Mathis Brothers. I have a reason for the music and I will tell you later. Suffice to say the ONLY reason I am going back is because I harassed no less than 15 people at that store until I got a $100 gift card.

THEN. We’re going to the mall and I’m going to spend a Sephora gift card. And honestly? Probably another hundred dollars of my own. Gah. I’m hopeless in there. And THEN we’re eating at The Cheesecake Factory for my belated birthday date.

And somewhere in there we’re picking up our engagement photos!

• This is a hilarious idea for a wedding. And only slightly creepy for my brother who was always scared to death by my dad whenever he made a change to his facial hair. Now, myself, I was scared of Granny’s wise men in the living room. The one with the black beard and crazy eyes freaked me out.
• I don’t about you, but that’s what I did on my birthday.
• My hometown (Elmore City, Oklahoma) has been experiencing a rash in cattle shootings. That raises some concern for me, but, I’m sorry, not quite as much as when the local devil worshipers were cutting one leg off a cow and leaving it to bleed to death. I dunno. Something about that doesn’t set well with me.
• Speaking of sawed off limbs…”7th Human Foot Washes Ashore on Canadian Coast.” I have watched enough crime dramas on TV to know that you have to study the tides before throwing stuff like that in the ocean. Seriously. So either this dude (statistics say it’s probably a dude*) knows what he’s doing and wants people to find these feet OR he’s an idiot.
• Please press charges. She could be your grandmother, folks.
• Note to self: hold your breath when you visit California. But seriously, there’s probably more than one reason to do that.
• “Rino Season Is Now Open“–Obey the spirit of the wild. I think (if it’s still on the air) Ted Nugent’s show on the Outdoor Network (?) is probably the only one my dad refuses to watch. It doesn’t matter how entertaining it may be, Dad can spot crazy from a mile away. Through a Leupold scope, most likely.
• If you aren’t listening to The Grizzly Bear Egg Cafe, you should be. I’m not sure why I tune in, since I know next to nothing about comic books, wrestling, and half the stuff they talk about…but it’s great.
• Uhh…this is funny. “Yeah, I know gays have been treated like crap over the years – but they were never slaves – unless it was requested in a Craigslist ad.” *ducks behind couch*
• Kevin and I have already discussed this and we are going to have one in our own home whenever we have children. Thank you, Redneck Diva!
• Go buy some Christmas gifts! I link to this because it features something that makes me laugh, too: the “Nuddle” or “Snuggie” whatever you want to call it. The blanket with sleeves that makes you look like a monk.>
• The Friar looks to the future and tells us what the next four years will be like.
• You know what I have to say? Get over it. Like I told Nume over at Kick the Anthill, “I watched my dad bleed and clean turkeys hanging from my swingset outside my bedroom window by the light of the November moon.” And look how I turned out.
• Picking this up the next time I’m at the newstand! Yay, French Toast Girl!
• Oh my goodness…yes.
  

  Everytime I hear about the Twilight series it makes me want to edit the Wikipedia page on vampires and remove the word “blood”.

  “Although many different cultures have been found to have myths of vampirism, it seems one defining factor is that all vampires suck blood”

  But I am trying to have grace since some of my loved ones are OBSESSED. Sigh. This holiday season could be really difficult. Forget not talking politics, let’s not talk Twilight.

• It’s sweater weather!
• “It’s simple, really: the real purpose of this mass gathering is not to witness history–but to pick up co-eds. The fact is, there has never been a better wing man on the planet than Obama. With his amazing ability to unify everyone under a feel-good notion that you’re totally awesome and everything’s going to be peachy keen – he’s like a human version of an ecstasy pill. If you’re for Obama, suddenly making out with someone else whose for Obama is totally okay!”
• At least there is someone who is standing firm and not swaying like a reed. Good for you, Fr. Jay Scott Newman.
• Brits at their best–what the stones don’t say. Thank you to those who have gone before us.

*Statistics produced by my brain.