Ladies and gents, I am back on The FlyLady bandwagon. Don’t worry, I’m not crazed or judgmental towards unshiny sinks. My sink is currently full on both sides, but so much better than it was yesterday it’s not EVEN funny.

Here’s what I’ve been thinking. In a couple of years, Kevin and I plan on having a baby. It’s not in the near future, but it’s not that distant either. And can anyone remember what you were doing 5 years ago? Five years ago, I was lamenting a non-relationship with a guy who strung (strewed? strang? usheilkd? WHAT?) me along for months. (Hello, roommate and dorm friends — does anyone remember this?) If all goes as planned (and it never does, but whatever) we will have a 2-year-old in 5 years.

TIMEOUT.

Let’s stop and think about that for a minute. In a few years, we’re going to have a baby. (Sorry for all the italics. I get very “Rilla Blythe” when I think about the future and babies and AHH!) That’s insanity. How life changes so quickly. Now I’m married and it feels like I’ve always been married. Nine months down and it feels like forever. In a good way. And while I was thinking about having babies I was looking at my toes. Because toes kind of remind me of babies. They are little and cute. Well, some people’s are. And then I was looking at my tiny toe on my left foot. On the inside part of that toenail, it grows at a perfect right angle, creating a dangerously sharp point (and they don’t even need clipping right now). And because I am all hippy at heart, I’ve already started working on a birth plan (I did this like 2 years ago, it’s changed as I have). Now, I know how to make sure hospital staff doesn’t go against my wishes.

I threaten them with my razor-sharp left pinky-toenail.

Brilliant, right? I know! With feet up in the air like that I should have a clear shot at somebody’s jugular.

Then, I started thinking, which led me to ask this question of you all. Seriously. Who does that? You can’t give prisoners (the hardcore kind) nail clippers. And in a situation like mine, you definitely can’t let them go unclipped. If the need presented itself, I would use this thing as a shiv. No one would see it coming.

I’m going to have to work on that left roundhouse kick though.

Okay, back to the original topic.

That. That is a little frightening. And what I have come to realize is that if I can’t get my housekeeping under control when there are just two of us, there’s no way I’m going to know what to do when there are suddenly 3 and I’m faced with about 1000x the responsibilities that I have right now.

So, in the words of Barney Fife (who I am referencing for the 2nd time this week*), I’m nipping it in the bud.

I’ll keep you updated on my progress. Now, links!

• There’s a giveaway going on at the r house. Beautiful gift with a beautiful story behind it.
• The Bloggies are tonight! Announcing awards every 5 minutes on their Twitter.
• How to nap (thanks, Melissa!)
• Christie offers some fantastic tips on going green.
• WOLF SWEATSHIRT. I’ve always been partial to those. Found in most quality truck stops.
• I didn’t even know The Golden Driller existed (it’s because I don’t go to Tulsa. Unless I’m on my way to Branson. As a rule.), but I’m a fan now.

*The first time was in regard to the “shooting” at Oklahoma City Community College.

Apparently kids today do not know who Barney Fife is. This makes me sad.

Forgive me. My eyes are so tired in this video. The day felt long and exhausting. I’m not even sure why. Could it be that I was spoiled being out of school six days in a row?

Also, I call it “Episode 2,” but it’s Episode 3 – “What Kate Does.” Enjoy and share your thoughts on the episode!

What a quiet evening. We’re packing up to head to Philadelphia for Christmas with Kevin’s parents. No telling how the travel will go at this point. Snow, snow everywhere. We’d both appreciate your prayers for a safe flight tomorrow.

So, while I enjoy this quiet night next to my glowing white Christmas tree, I wanted to share my favorite Christmas cartoon with you. I first saw it when I was really little and accidentally ran across it a few years ago when I purchased “Mickey’s Christmas Carol” for a Christmas party I was hosting. One of the shorts on the DVD was this little movie — The Small One. It’s a precious, poignant film about a donkey that no one had use for anymore, except for the little boy that loves him. It’s made by Disney during the last of the Don Bluth years, a fact that shocked me considering the content of this film and the direction Disney has gone in recent years. I hope you and yours enjoy it as much as I do.

The Small One (in three parts)

We knew something was wrong when Kevin woke up this morning. Body aches, chills, a low-grade fever, and a slight cough…mmhmm. I’ve been seeing it all year in kids at school and now, finally, one of us. At the very least it’s seasonal flu. Worst–H1N1. Right now I am busy making sure that his fever doesn’t go up any more. In the half hour that I was gone to the store for medicine this afternoon it managed to go up 2 degrees, leaving him boiling and beet red at 102 I love taking care of people though, so I’m enjoying living out this Florence Nightingale fantasy.

The honeymoon series will be back tomorrow!

I was walking down the aisle on my dad’s arm. The moment I had dreamed of since I was 2-years-old (no lie) was here and very different than I had imagined it. You see, by this point I thought I would be crying. In fact, it’s what I was dreading about the whole thing: getting up in front of all these people and crying so much that they couldn’t understand what I was saying.

But there I was, walking. And there Kevin was, standing at the end of the aisle. It was all so surreal. Instead of looking around to see who was there, like I’d thought I might, I was looking straight ahead, focused on my goal. At this point our ring bearer was pretty raucous down in front of the stage, but Heather finally managed to grab him. When we arrived at the front I kissed my mom on the cheek and then proceeded with Dad to be given away.

I’ll let the video say the rest.

A few things to explain: the violins (that I walked down the aisle to) were not miked and neither was the piano during the lighting of the unity candle. Both were plenty loud during the ceremony, that was just one detail that was forgotten. Scott (vocalist & pianist) did a fantastic job on the song. And my blinking during the vows, well, all I can guess is that I was trying not to cry and I was really focusing on what I was saying. Oh, and my veil almost fell out. Dad got a little too enthusiastic when he lifted it. Surprise! I never cried.

Bridal Chorus as it sounded at the wedding (minus the cello, we had two violins, played by Jennifer White and Kevin Lai):

The day of our wedding I woke up with the June sun shining through the curtains of my room at my mom and dad’s house. Every bedroom I have slept in up to this point has had at least one east facing window and because of this I am a naturally early riser. This morning was no different, with me up hours before I needed to be. Leave it to me to not take advantage of extra sleep on my wedding day.

I had played it through my head over and over how I thought my last night in my parents’ house would be and what it would be like to wake up the next morning, knowing it wouldn’t ever really be the same. Unlike I’d expected, I did not cry myself to sleep the night before. I was too tired. And I know you may be thinking, “Really? Cry?” Yes, really. I have always been a mama’s girl and no matter how excited I was to be getting married it pained me to think that I could really never go home again in the same way. We were going to start a new household. No longer would I be under my parents. It all seemed so new and frightening.

But what did I do? I went to sleep the moment my head hit the pillow and like I said, I was up with the sun the next morning and into the kitchen to make my coffee. My mom was awake, my dad already off to work (he has a 24/7 job in the oilfield), and at least one of my brothers was conscious already. Made myself some breakfast, took a long bath, packed up the rest of my stuff, and headed down to Granny and PawPaw’s to pick up my matron-of-honor and one of my bridesmaids (Heather & Aaryn). Together we drove over to Duncan and went to the nail salon to get all gussied up.

The only decent place to get your toes done (that anyone knew of) in Duncan was the salon in Wal-mart, so there we were. I made a coffee run at McDonald’s (Umm, yes. Again.) then settled into one of those comfy chairs to wait my tootsies’ turn. I think the massage chair did wonders to keep the knots from forming in my back. That’s where I tend to direct all my stress (there and my brain and intestines, but you don’t care about that). Eventually it was my turn and that, my dear readers, was The Best pedicure I have ever had. It lasted longer than any other pedicure and NEVER chipped. Bless their hearts at the Duncan Wal-mart. They know what they are doing.

Excuse me if I have to come back and edit some of this, because I realized that I lost quite a bit of my memory from the middle part of the day.

After we were done there, we went to the church to drop some things off and then grabbed a quick lunch. Next up were our hair appointments. Aaryn had one right before mine and we went to my cousin-in-law Cortney’s to have it done. Elizabeth Diefenderfer, a former co-worker, was doing the photography and she arrived to take photos while we were at the salon. It was right at this point that I started to get antsy. I couldn’t sit down. I was pacing in the shop. I knew what was going on though. Adrenaline was starting to fill my veins and I had that constant “I-need-to-take-a-tinkle” feeling that I used to get before a basketball game. You know, like right before you get on a roller coaster? THAT. At least I wasn’t having a panic attack.

After our hair was all done we went back to the church and started getting ready to take a few photos before the wedding. Just the ones without Kevin and I together though. Yes, we’re traditional. I hate being griped at for it. And I’ll be honest, I totally judge people who go ahead and see each other before the wedding. Sorry. I think my mom and my bridesmaids helped me to get the dress on. It’s a heavy sucker. Before I really knew what had happened, we were all completely dressed and ready to go take some pictures. Those went fairly quick, since I’d made a list beforehand of everything I wanted and I didn’t have any ridiculous bridesmaids. Thank you, ladies.

While all this was going on, Dad kept approaching me with his phone to show me pictures of Kevin (who was back in the choir room) and all of his groomsmen playing Phase 10 (whatever that is). I guess that’s a bit of a cheat, but whatever. Blame Dad.

When we were done the four of us (me, Heather, Aaryn, and Delisa) were ushered back into the lounge outside of the ladies’ restroom to wait for everything to begin. Oh boy. My tummy is turning just thinking about it. We had about an hour left to go and this time went by more quickly than anything else. There were a few people in and out of the room; Lindsay, the wife of one of the groomsmen, to deliver a letter from Kevin to me (I sent her back with one for him); a few aunts who couldn’t quite contain their tears; my grandmother who brought by the hair pin that I secured my veil with (belonged to her mother, my Nannie) and the handkerchief that I carried (belonged to PawPaw’s mother, my “Granny Christ” [pronounced KRISS] or Grandma Maggie Johnson to the rest of the family) and left quickly because she wasn’t going to be able to hold her tears in; and a few random people to say “hello.” (If you were there and you remember more of this, please share in the comments. I have lost a lot of it!)

I don’t know how it all went by so quickly, but suddenly my dad was peeking through the door to tell us that the video presentation was almost over and that they’d be seating the families within minutes. That meant it was almost time. Oh. My. Lands.

(Since you all haven’t seen it, unless you were there, here’s the slideshow we played. YouTube quality is AWFUL, but the DVD version is great.)

There were a couple of small snafus with the timing and people knowing when to be queued in (blame me for being the wedding coordinator at the rehearsal), but it all worked out without me knowing.

I was standing there, the music was playing, and my girlie friends were walking down the aisle. The doors closed and then there were violins. Without any warning, I was on my dad’s arm and he said, “It’s all going to be fine.” The doors opened and there we were. And there, at the end of the aisle…was him.

Tomorrow – Reflections on the Ceremony WITH *tada* The Wedding Video!

Back in late February, I had a panic attack. There was a combination of factors that I believe brought the whole thing on (the primary one is still something I don’t feel comfortable talking about in much detail), but essentially what it all came down to was me doing my normal thing, being an observer, but instead of putting my thoughts and feelings out somewhere I was internalizing. Stewing over a variety of things from the inconsequential to the life-changing. And for some reason on that day, everything exploded.

Most things have gone back to normal. I still get the tingles sometimes, the pains in my muscles that signal an attack is trying to build up, and the occasional bout of unexplained weepiness. That’s only sometimes though. I feel good and I don’t wake up scared every morning that I’m going to deal with the crippling fear of death’s imminence.

There is one thing that has never really gone back to normal though. Something that had been such a constant in my life that nowadays I will have someone ask me about it and I’ll have to answer with an honest, “I don’t know.” And then they look at me like I’ve entered the room riding one of the horses of the apocalypse.

I stopped watching the news. I turned off NPR. Changed my radio presets to Gospel/preaching*—Classical—Soft rock—Oldies—Pop—Soft rock (in that order according to where they sit on the dial. You know, OCD and all). I turned off the TV for the most part and started watching my Dr. Quinn DVDs whenever I was waiting for my next Netflix DVD.

Some of the things in the news had stirred up a lot of emotions in me. A lot of them in roundabout ways (idiots attempting to bait me with simple discussion questions that turned into a knock-down, drag-out debate) and I won’t say that it was totally the content of the news. Just something about it keys me up. I get a thrill and really enjoy watching most news programs over anything else. But now? My love for journalistic reporting has died down to almost nothing. On one had I can’t stand to hear the anchors sing the praises of Obama, on the other I hate that every word coming out of a person’s mouth is condemnation of the president. There is no middle ground that I see. Even if it did exist, I’m not sure that I’d want to be any part of it. It reminds me too much of being “lukewarm.”

I have eased back into TV “news” just a smidge. I do love Fox & Friends Weekend and if I wake up in time I try to watch it on my couch with a cup of coffee. But it’s not the first thing that I turn on anymore. You’re more likely to find me listening to a relaxation podcast than sitting in front of a TV blasting the headlines. It’s been a nice break and I can’t say that I feel like I’m missing too much. If history is any guide, all it would take to get me sitting in front of the set again would be a national tragedy or celebrity death.** But who knows when I’ll be back to my old routine, if ever. I do have a male residing in my home now and I’ve noticed that the amount of time the dial spends on ESPN has gone up by like 5000%…

*This particular preaching is hard-hitting on the mega-church, GospelLite ™, “prosper in all things” preachers that are so prevalent these days. I like that.
**This was written on Wednesday, June 24, 2009. Who would have known we’d have Farrah and MJ the next day…

Two evenings ago, my new husband looked up at me from behind his laptop across the room and said, “My dear, do you realize the last time you blogged?” I did recall putting fingers to keyboard some time back, but didn’t realize that it had already been a month and one day since then.

Well…we’re back. It doesn’t feel like saying that really captures the changes that have occurred in the past few weeks. “We’re here” sounds like a more accurate description, as Kevin has never spent a night in my home before the day we flew back in from our honeymoon. We’re at the end of our second full day back at home and my first day back at work (which was very pleasant and welcoming, thanks to all my coworkers who visited my desk to give me fist bumps, share their wishes for our future, and ask about how the wedding went). Our time spent in Maine and Prince Edward Island, Canada was wonderful and I plan to spend a few days covering the different places we visited in other posts. Pictures will come as I can upload them, a little at a time, on flickr. There’s so much to show and talk about.

And then there’s the wedding. I suppose some of you would like a play-by-play of what that was like as well Suffice (for now) to say that it was gorgeous and so much more than I’d ever hoped for. It was a joyous experience, unmarred and without any kinks (that I was aware of) during the entire ceremony. Scratch that. My veil was hanging precariously from my hair and nearly fell out. A handful of people told me after the ceremony that they had been praying it would stay there throughout the wedding and thankfully it held on until we got back to the choir room after the recessional, just long enough for my bridesmaids to pin it in a little tighter before the reception.

Me and my new husband, at the reception (Photo by Laurie Goree)

So many things to write about, I’ll need to make a list. I will say that there’s not a single thing that I’d change about my wedding day (give me a few more weeks to think about this and I may come up with some), however, there are a few things I would change about the preparation for the ceremony and reception and some new insights that I have about planning your own wedding. I have yet to meet a woman that was not, at the very least, a little bit stressed out in the weeks before her wedding. It’s been tough to figure out if there is any way around that. For me, there wasn’t. It came with the territory, I suppose. My family is enormous and there were a lot of invitations sent out. And lots of invitations means that you have to plan for lots of people. Whether or not they’ll show is always going to be a gamble. In the end that turned out to be the most stressful and aggravating part for me.

Right now Kevin and I are concentrating on learning how to live with each other and just…be married. It’s nice. If I could only take one memory away from our wedding day, it would be Kevin and me walking through those doors, stepping outside and being by ourselves for just a few seconds, and saying to each other “We’re married.”

We’re married.

Much like my grandmother, as a small child I was under the impression that this was what life in the big city was like:

While I have never encountered anything quite like it, this gives me hope that one day we can live in a world where it’s okay for me to run down the street and burst into song. Whereas right now they’d cart me off to Griffin.

Don’t kid yourselves. It will be the robots. Have you seen Artificial Intelligence? *shudder*

They’ve created this little monster in Japan.

Not exactly Kid Sister or My Buddy. You can read more about her here.